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So then Christian starts getting all weird about Ana drinking too much and is judging her for it pretty hard.
“Do you make a habit of this kind of behavior?”
My head buzzes with excess alcohol and irritation. What the hell has it got to do with him? I didn’t invite him here. He sounds like a middle-aged man scolding me like an errant child. Part of me wants to say, if I want to get drunk every night like this, then it’s my decision and nothing to do with him – but I’m not brave enough. Not now that I’ve thrown up in front of him.
Alright, Ana, look, if you did this every night that’s called being an alcoholic, and while that would have nothing to do with him, that’s still not something you should do.
On the other hand, your drinking habits, as long as they don’t hurt anyone and don’t affect his life, don’t have anything to do with him, so he has no right to tell you that you can or cannot drink.
Trust me, ladies, if a guy you’re dating objects to your perfectly healthy drinking habits, dump his ass.
“No,” I say contritely. “I’ve never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again.”
You’ve NEVER been drunk before, and yet you drank FIVE MARGARITAS, AND SOME CHAMPAGNE, AND SOME BEER, AND SOMEHOW YOU ARE NOT DEAD.
So then Christian offers to take Ana home, and he says that his brother Elliot is now talking to Kate so Elliot will tell her where Ana is going. Also, apparently Christian was still staying at the hotel in Portland, so he wasn’t in Seattle, so it makes sense that he got to the bar so fast.
“How did you find me?”
“I tracked your cell phone, Anastasia.”
Oh, of course he did. How is that possible? Is it legal? Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain, but somehow, because it’s him, I don’t mind.
SO YOU KNOW THAT HE’S A STALKER AND YOU’RE JUST…OKAY WITH THAT? BECAUSE HE’S A BABE?
SEXY MEN CAN STILL MURDER YOU, ANA.
CLEARLY YOU DON’T KNOW THE STORY OF TED BUNDY, WHO WAS A TOTAL BABE AND ALSO MURDERED A FUCKTON OF WOMEN.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
And now we’ve got some more boring stuff because Ana decides that she has to go inside and tell Kate where she’s going, and then Christian orders (literally, it says that he “orders”) Ana to drink a glass of water, which is a good idea, but he doesn’t need to be a dick about it.
AND THEN WHAT THE FUCK CHRISTIAN DECIDES THAT THEY SHOULD START DANCING? That girl just puked at your feet, dude. She needs to go lay down. Dancing is not a good post-puke activity.
They find Kate, who is dancing all sexy-times with Christian’s brother Elliot, and Ana is all OMG SHE JUST MET THAT GUY WHAT R U DOING which is stupid, but whatever. Kate can do whatever she wants, she’s a big girl. If she wants to sleep with this guy, she has that right.
LOL and then this happens:
My head begins to swim, oh no…and I can feel the floor coming up to meet my face or so it feels. The last thing I hear before I pass out in Christian Grey’s arms is his harsh epithet.
“This pretty girl just passed out in my arms because I made her dance with me after she puked all over! Instead of being concerned for her well-being, I think the best thing for me to do in this situation is to yell some obscene word! Hmm…which one…I know! FUCK!”
You should have just taken her home, Christian. That’s like Taking Care of Drunk People 101.
–End of Chapter Four–
Chapter 3 literally ends with “Fuck!”
What a great way to end a chapter. And by “great” I mean “fucking stupid,” but you know, whatever.
This book is such a piece of shit, I swear to god. At least some interesting things happened in this chapter, and by “interesting” I mean “creepy as fuck,” including Ana almost getting taken advantage of sexually, Ana getting stalked, Ana getting drunk and puking, and Ana passing out because she can’t hold her liquor.
Can’t wait for the next chapter. It’s bound to be a doozy.
See you Wednesday!