[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
“You’re a sadist?”
“I’m a Dominant.” His eyes are a scorching gray, intense.
“What does that mean?” I whisper.
“It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things.”
Way to make the BDSM lifestyle sound as creepy as possible. I mean, that’s what SOME dominants want, but some only want it in the bedroom, and there are tons of variations of the “rules” and stuff.
I frown at him as I try to assimilate this idea.
“Why would I do that?”
“To please me,” he whispers as he cocks his head to one side, and I see a ghost of a smile.
Please him! He wants me to please him! I think my mouth drops open. Please Christian Grey. And I realize, in that moment, that yes, that’s exactly what I want to do. I want him to be damned delighted with me. It’s a revelation.
“I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don’t I shall punish you, and you will learn,” he whispers.
THAT IS ONE BIG PILE OF NOPE. WITH A GARNISH OF FUCK THAT ON TOP.
NOPE NOPE NOPE.
I COULD NOT BE MORE UPSET WITH THIS.
EVERYTHING IS WRONG.
Listen up ladies and gentlemen, Auntie Caitlin is going to explain you a thing.
A BDSM relationship occurs when BOTH PARTIES agree to a certain power dynamic where one of them is the Dominant one, and the other is the Submissive.
BOTH PARTIES agree to this because BOTH PARTIES derive pleasure from it.
The dominant gains pleasure from being in control, and the submissive gains pleasure from being controlled.
NEITHER PARTY DOES IT TO GIVE THE OTHER PERSON PLEASURE.
IT IS PURELY A SELFISH THING.
AND IF ONE PERSON IS NOT OKAY WITH THE THING THAT IS HAPPENING, THEY USE A SAFE WORD AND WHATEVER IS HAPPENING STOPS IMMEDIATELY.
Jesus Horse-whipping Christ.
This is a major problem, guys. People have read this book and started BDSM relationships because of it. They think this book is an accurate representation of BDSM relationships and IT IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.
THE SUBMISSIVE SHOULD ENJOY EVERYTHING JUST AS MUCH AS THE DOMINANT DOES.
THE SUBMISSIVE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE DOMINANT.
THE SUBMISSIVE DOES EVERYTHING SOLELY FOR HIS OR HER OWN PERSONAL PLEASURE.
IF YOU START DOING IT FOR THE PLEASURE OF SOMEONE ELSE, THAT’S WHEN THINGS GET POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS.
IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMETHING, YOU SHOULDN’T BE DOING IT. YOU SHOULDN’T KEEP DOING IT JUST FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE OTHER PERSON.
This relationship is already a fucking nightmare, and it hasn’t even officially started yet.
“So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.”
“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy – it’s a very simple equation.”
GOD THIS CHAPTER SHOULD JUST BE TITLED “NOPE.”
If this keeps going, my liveblogs will just turn into me typing out quotes from the book and saying “NOPE” after it.
The more she submits, the greater HER joy should be. THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT.
IT’S A MUTUAL FUCKING THING.
THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOUR MASSIVE DICK, CHRISTIAN.
In BDSM relationships, the Submissive really has more power than the Dominant. The Submissive is the one in control, because if at any point they are not okay with what is happening, they say the word and the whole operation shuts down.
If the Submissive isn’t the one in control, and if the Dominant can just do whatever they want without the Submissive having the power to stop them, that’s called ABUSE.
BDSM is all about trust, that much is true. But it’s also about pleasure, purely selfish pleasure. You should want to do what you’re doing. If you don’t want to do what you’re doing, stop doing it, and if the other person doesn’t let you stop it, then that’s not a relationship you want to be in, and you should get the fuck out of there ASAP.
“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”
PLEASURE. YOU SHOULD BE GETTING PLEASURE OUT OF THIS ANA.
He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.
“Me,” he says simply.