Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 7 [part 4]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

ALRIGHT.

So there’s a bunch of rules, and instead of telling you all of them, I’m just going to give you all the ones that make me want to flip tables:

  • “The submissive will agree to any sexual activity deemed fit and pleasurable by the Dominant excepting those activities which are outlined in hard limits.”

[still no mention of a safeword. AWESOME.]

  • “She will do so eagerly and without hesitation.”

[OR MAYBE SHE WON’T BECAUSE SHE MIGHT NOT WANT TO DO SOMETHING OR SHE MIGHT WANT YOU TO STOP. EVER THINK OF THAT, YOU SICK FUCK?]

  • “The submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of seven hours’ sleep a night when she is not with the Dominant.”

[“seven hours’ sleep a night?” that doesn’t sound like proper grammar. This is supposed to be a contract. You’d think it would at least use proper grammar.]

  • “The Submissive will eat regularly to maintain her health and wellbeing from a prescribed list of foods. The submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.”

[Are you her fucking mother, Christian? Jesus. IN OTHER NEWS. I sense some body shaming coming. How delightful.]

  • “The Submissive will keep herself clean and shaved and/or waxed at all times. The Submissive will visit a beauty salon of the Dominant’s choosing at times to be decided by the Dominant, and undergo whatever treatments the Dominant sees fit.”

[WOW THAT IS A BIG STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT. If she wants to not shave her vagina, that’s her business. You don’t get to dictate where she is/isn’t allowed to have body hair, asshole.]

fuck this and this

 

There were other rules, like how the Submissive is required to have a personal trainer and has to wear clothes that are approved by the Dominant or whatever. They’re all pretty bullshit, it was hard for me to pick what ones to include.

They discuss the work out schedule part of it, with the personal trainer and whatever, and Ana negotiates it from 4 days a week down to 3, and Christian is all impressed that she could negotiate something. It’s not even that impressive, she said “I don’t want to work out 4 times a week” and he was like “I want you to” and she said “How about 3” and he was like “Well…” and she was like “How about 3” and he was like “Well okay.”

WOW HOW IMPRESSIVE. SHE SAID WORDS AND USED LOGIC. HOW UNUSUAL FOR A WOMAN.

Oh sweet mother of fucks.

Now we have a list of “Hard Limits” from Christian, these are things he won’t do.

Included in this list are the following:

  • No fire play
  • No poop/pee business (so I guess no 2 Girls 1 Cup for him)
  • No sharp stabby things or blood
  • No kids or animals (I’m glad this is number 4 on the list. I’m glad he’s more offended by fire play than by pedophilia or beastiality. That’s comforting)

There are others, but they’re all pretty much the same. Nothing that will leave scars, etc etc etc.

He then asks if there are any hard limits she wants to add, and she says she “doesn’t know.”

“Well…I’ve not had sex before, so I don’t know.” My voice is small. I peek up at him, and he’s staring at me, mouth-open, frozen,  and pale – really pale.
“Never?” he whispers. I shake my head.
“You’re a virgin?” he breathes. I nod, flushing again. He closes his eyes and looks to be counting to ten. When he opens them again, he’s angry, glaring at me.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” he growls.

really black and white

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

SERIOUS.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED? WHAT A FUCKING CONCEPT.

YOU CAN’T JUST ASSUME PEOPLE HAVE HAD SEX. AND ALSO YOU SHOULDN’T FUCKING SHAME THEM IF THEY HAVEN’T.

I HATE CHRISTIAN GREY SO MUCH, GOD DAMN IT. WHY IS HE SUCH AN AWFUL PERSON?

I WISH HE WAS REAL SO I COULD MURDER HIM.

How are so many women in love with him?! I literally do not understand this. He is a shitty human being. There is nothing redeeming about him other than the fact that he’s supposedly a babe. There are plenty of babes out there, and 90% of them are better people than Christian Grey.

Ugh. This book disgusts me.

-End of Chapter Seven-

I literally could not despise Christian Grey anymore than I already do.

…except now that I’ve said that, I’m sure he’ll find a way to make it worse.

Chapter 8 will be up tomorrow!

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