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“I need to talk to Kate. I’ve so many questions about sex, and you’re too involved. If you want me to do all these things, how do I know-?” I pause, struggling to find the right words. “I just don’t have any terms of reference.”
He rolls his eyes at me.
“Talk to her if you must.” He sounds exasperated. “Make sure she doesn’t mention anything to Elliot.
Let me just recap what just happened for you…
Ana: Perfectly reasonable statement.
Christian: HERE LET ME RIDICULE FOR THAT. OMG *ROLLS EYES* YOU R SUCH A VIRGIN, WHAT A SILLY LITTLE VIRGIN YOU ARE, HOW QUAINT.
“The sooner I have your submission the better, and we can stop all this,” he murmurs.
“Stop all what?”
“You, defying me.”
UM EXCUSE ME
HOW IS SHE DEFYING YOU.
SHE MADE A PERFECTLY REASONABLE REQUEST.
AND YOU GRANTED IT.
I’m sure some BDSM relationships are like this, but I say again, that’s because THE SUBMISSIVE WANTS IT. THEY BOTH AGREE ON THESE THINGS. Or at least that’s how HEALTHY, CONSENSUAL BDSM RELATIONSHIPS WORK.
Oh, how silly of me. I forgot that there is nothing healthy about this relationship at all.
So then they get in the car, which is an Audi R8 spyder, because apparently it’s really important for us to know what kind of car Christian is driving, and they drive off.
While driving, Christian decides that Ana is hungry again, because apparently Ana is already no longer in control of her own body and isn’t allowed to decide for herself if she’s hungry or not, so they stop for food.
Seriously, she says that she’s not particularly hungry, and he’s like NOPE. WE’RE GETTING FOOD. YOU NEED TO EAT.
Are we supposed to think she has an eating disorder or something? I don’t understand.
So they get to the restaurant, and Christian just orders two glasses of wine, without even asking Ana, and Ana says that she’d prefer a diet coke, and Christian basically just tells her that no, she’s getting wine.
IF SHE DOESN’T WANT WINE YOU CAN’T FORCE HER TO DRINK IT, YOU GIANT SHIT-STAIN.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Then they start discussing their weekend sex-spree, and how apparently it was a bunch of first-times for Christian as well, because he’s never had sex in his bed, never slept in bed with anyone, never had a girl in his helicopter, never introduced a woman to his mother. I guess we’re supposed to be interested in this. I guess this is supposed to indicate some kind of change in his character, like she’s changing him or something.
It hasn’t changed him enough for me to think he’s anything but a pile of shit, but whatever. Oooh, good for you, you introduced a girl to your mother. Do you want a fucking sticker?
So at the restaurant the waitress is a super hot blonde who’s attracted to Christian and doesn’t like that Christian is largely ignoring her. Apparently every woman in this book that Ana labels an enemy is blonde. That’s…nice?
“Why have you never had vanilla sex before? Have you always done…err, what you’ve done?” I ask, intrigued.
“Sort of.” His voice is wary. He frowns for a moment and seems to be engaged in some kind of internal struggle. Then he glances up, a decision made. “One of my mother’s friends seduced me when I was fifteen.
“Oh.” Holy shit that’s young!
“She had very particular tastes. I was her submissive for six years.” He shrugs.
WHAT A LOVELY, CASUAL LUNCH CONVERSATION THEY’RE HAVING.
Well I guess that explains why all of his ideas about BDSM are wrong. But I would REALLY LOVE IT if someone actually called him on his shit and said “Hey! BDSM is about both parties! It’s not all about you, you narcissistic ass!”
And then their food comes and Ana isn’t hungry and Christian is all threatening and tells her to eat in a low voice, because that’s just what he does, the fucking creep.
“Is this what our, err…relationship will be like?” I whisper. “You ordering me around?” I can’t quite bring myself to look at him.
“Yes,” he murmurs.
“And what’s more, you’ll want me to,” he adds, his voice low.
WOW THAT IS THE FIRST MENTION OF HER WANTS AND NEEDS ACTUALLY BEING A FACTOR IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
I’m happy that it got mentioned that the submissive is supposed to want it, but at the same time, if Christian really wanted something and Ana wasn’t comfortable with it, I’m not entirely sure he would respect her wishes. Being the Dominant, in his mind, seems to mean that it’s all about his pleasure and wants and needs and it doesn’t matter what the Submissive wants/needs. We’ll see if this is actually true when the actual BDSM relationship starts…if it ever does.
Then Ana asks what happened to the other 15 submissives Christian has had, and he says that they just weren’t compatible with him, whatever that means.
They pay for their food, drive back to Ana’s apartment, and say goodbye. Ana gets all stupid and emotional about it, even though she’s literally going to see the man on Wednesday, and when he gets back in the car she feels “suddenly bereft.” Ana, you are impossibly dramatic. Stop.
Oh, but before Christian pulls out of the driveway, Ana says “Oh I’m wearing your underwear,” and she shows him the waistband, and he’s all shocked and whatever and then she feels all empowered, because apparently that’s what it takes to be empowered, you just have to wear dudes’ underwear and surprise them with it.
And now she’s inside, and it’s time to talk to Kate.