Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 12 [part 1]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Happy Monday, y’all!

RECAP: Ana decides to take a look at the contract that Christian wants her to sign. The contract is printed in the actual physical Fifty Shades of Grey book, including several sections that we’ve already read in earlier chapters, probably because E.L. James either thinks her readers are so stupid that we will have forgotten about it, or because she herself is so stupid that she had already forgotten about it. Anyway. In said contract, the Submissive is almost consistently referred to as property, and it keeps going back and forth between saying things like “…all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be consensual,” and “The Dominant may use the Submissive’s body at any time during the Allotted Times,” which is really confusing. After reading the whole thing, Ana feels really weird about it and even says that there’s no way she can accept these terms, but then she almost immediately backpedals because she doesn’t want to end up alone with lots of cats, because apparently that’s what will happen if she refuses Christian. Then Ana goes to sleep. The next day at work, she gets a call from José and agrees to meet him for coffee, and suddenly everything is forgiven because apparently it doesn’t matter that he’s an awful person. Also, Christian gives Ana a top of the line MacBook Pro, because somehow she managed to go through college without having or knowing how to use a computer, or email, or anything. Christian then tells Ana to use it to research BDSM by going to Wikipedia first, and after she does that she feels all weird about it and says she needs time to think.

WHEW.

ALRIGHT LET’S GO.

-Chapter Twelve-

Ana decides to go for a run to clear her head. This is a logical response, I know I’ve gone for runs when I needed time to think, except apparently Ana’s never gone for a run in her life, as is evidenced by the fact that she puts her hair up in pigtails to go for said run.

Do any of you run with pigtails in your hair? I mean, I guess if your hair is short enough that’s different, but the whole point is to keep your hair off your sweaty neck and face, and pigtails would just hit you in the face the entire time if your hair is as long as Ana’s is.

So then Ana sets about thinking about things.

I want him, but on his terms? I just don’t know. Perhaps I should negotiate what I want. Go through that ridiculous contract line by line and say what is acceptable and what isn’t. My research has told me that legally it’s unenforceable. He must know that.

CONAN HAPPY DANCE

YES. YOU SHOULD TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T WANT. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. THAT IS HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK.

Also I’m glad it’s mentioned that the contract is unenforceable. You can’t use a contract to dictate the terms of a relationship, because people change their minds all the time and you can’t try and govern that by having them sign some bullshit form.

Anyway. YAY.

I am plagued by one question – why is he like this? Is it because he was seduced at such a young age? I just don’t know. He’s still such a mystery.

If you’re talking about why he’s a creepy stalker/probably murderer, I have no idea why he’s like that, and frankly I don’t care.

If you’re talking about why he’s into BDSM…stop.

Sexual kinks aren’t always influenced by childhood trauma, or some kind of faulty brain wiring. They aren’t evidence of some “problem.” Sometimes they are those things, but usually sexual kinks are just things that some people find arousing, and that is completely okay. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I resent this book for making it sound that way.

Sometimes people are just into BDSM. Sometimes people just like getting tied up or spanked or gagged. Sometimes people just like being the one doing the spanking or gagging. Sometimes there is no “why” to it. It just is. And that’s great.

Ana goes back to running.

I stop beside a large spruce and put my hands on my knees, breathing hard, dragging precious air into my lungs. Oh, this feels good, cathartic.

wtf

If this is the first run you’ve ever gone on in your whole life, right about now you should feel like you’re about to die.

…at least, that’s how it is whenever I run, and each time I run it’s basically like running for the first time because I wait too long in between each run, but whatever.

So Ana decides that she’s going to email Christian about what she finds acceptable and what isn’t, and then they’ll discuss it on Wednesday when they have dinner. Still not sure what day it is in the book-world, so I have no idea how many days we have to wait until Wednesday happens.

She gets back to her house and decides to play a joke on Christian and sends him this email:

Okay, I’ve seen enough.
It was nice knowing you.
Ana

And then she laughs like it’s funny.

judgementt

She just assumes Christian will know it’s a joke, even though he literally keeps telling her that she can leave at any time and he’ll leave her alone, because he’s obviously very nervous about this and expects her to say no, because he’s got some confidence issues or something.

So yes, Ana, haha funny joke, play with Christian’s anxieties. He’s a shitty person, but that doesn’t make that joke funny.

Ana decides to start packing stuff to distract herself from the anxiety of waiting for Christian to email back.

I don’t know why I glance up, maybe I catch a slight movement from the corner of my eye, I don’t know, but when I do, he’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom watching me intently.

fuck that rpattz

CHRISTIAN GREY IS ONE CREEPY MOTHERFUCKER.

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