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While walking Christian to the door, Ana begins to reminisce about the sex they just had.
But now I feel like a receptacle – an empty vessel to be filled at his whim.
…That’s not a thought that you should be having after sex. If you feel like this after sex, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SEX WITH THAT PERSON AGAIN.
I close the front door as he climbs into his sporty car. I have an overwhelming urge to cry, a sad and lonely melancholy grips and tightens around my heart.
IF YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING AFTER HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE AND HIM THEN LEAVING, MAYBE YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
So then Ana starts crying, because she’s probably upset because she likes Christian but knows Christian can’t give her the kind of relationship she wants, which is upsetting, yes, but she shouldn’t compromise her wants and needs just because he’s good in bed.
Kate knocks gently.
“Ana?” she whispers. I open the door. She takes one look at me and throws her arms around me.
“What’s wrong? What did that creepy good-looking bastard do?”
“Oh Kate, nothing I didn’t want him to.”
So then they discuss Christian more, and Ana doesn’t reveal any of the kinky stuff, and Kate comes to the conclusion that Christian has commitment issues, which honestly isn’t that far from the truth.
Also, this conversation happens:
“He came here to fuck me, that’s all.”
“Who said romance was dead?” she whispers horrified. I’ve shocked Kate. I didn’t think that was possible. I shrug apologetically.
“He uses sex as a weapon.”
“Fuck you into submission?”
“Ana, I don’t understand, you just let him make love to you?”
“No, Kate, we don’t make love – we fuck – Christian’s terminology. He doesn’t do the love thing.”
ANA HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS. HOW ARE YOU STILL CONSIDERING BEING WITH HIM.
HE USES SEX AS A WEAPON
AND YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS
AND YOU’RE JUST…OKAY WITH THAT?
I mean, Ana is obviously NOT okay with that, but she’s still going to get together with Christian almost definitely, which is stupid because he makes her this upset.
This is so frustrating.
Kate then leaves, and Ana emails Christian her issues with the contract, which include:
- “Surely this is for YOUR benefit”
- “Obey in all things? Accept without hesitation your discipline? We need to talk about this.
- “One month trial period. Not three.”
- “Touching myself without your permission. What’s the problem with this? You know I don’t do it anyway.”
- “No fisting of any kind.”
That is me high-fiving Ana because she actually stuck to her guns a little bit and called Christian out on some shitty things in the contract.
That makes me very happy. It’s like Ana is something other than a complete and total doormat.
So then Christian emails her back saying that that’s a long list, and then asking why she’s still up, and she’s all flirty and is all “If you recall, I was going through this list when I was distracted and bedded by a passing control freak.”
How flirty and romantic and adorable.
And then Christian emails back and literally says: “GO TO BED ANASTASIA.”
Jesus, are you her father? She can go to bed when she wants to, asshole. She’s 22 and is graduating from college in less than a week. I think she has the right to dictate her own goddamned bedtime.
Oh…shouty capitals! I switch off. How can he intimidate me when he’s six miles away? I shake my head.
IF HE INTIMIDATES YOU THAT MUCH, DON’T BE WITH HIM.
IT’S NOT THAT HARD.
And then Ana goes to bed.
-End Chapter Twelve-
This book is getting more and more frustrating.
I just want Ana to actually stick up for herself and stop being such a goddamned doormat. She needs to stop letting Christian intimidate her, because that’s not healthy. There is no part of their relationship that is okay.
Well, I guess it’s a good thing we’re almost halfway through the book.
…except then there are 2 more books to slog through.
See you Wednesday!