Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 13 [part 1]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Apparently there are giant murder-storms heading into my area, so hopefully I get these posts done and scheduled before a tornado fucks my shit up.

…wouldn’t it be awful if my next post was like “HEY SO ACTUALLY A TORNADO REALLY DID FUCK MY SHIT UP.”

Dear tornados: Please don’t fuck any of my shit up. I like my shit. Let’s be friends. Love, Caitlin.

Anyway.

RECAP: So Ana reads the contract, is all ready to not sign it, but then she goes for a run to clear her head and decides that she is going to sign it? Except first, as a funny joke, she emails Christian and says “It was nice knowing you.” Christian doesn’t find this very amusing, and creepily shows up in Ana’s bedroom about 10 minutes later and decides to remind her how nice it is to know him. Thus begins yet another gross creepy sex scene. This particular sex scene involves spitting wine into each other’s mouths and Christian drinking it out of Ana’s belly button. Vomit. Christian also ties Ana up and blindfolds her with her own shirt, which I guess is supposed to be exciting and kinky, even though the whole thing is pretty lame and boring to me. After Christian leaves, Ana starts crying, and she talks to Kate, and Kate is basically like wtf is wrong with this guy and Ana just keeps being emo. Ana emails Christian her thoughts on the contract, which will be discussed at their dinner on Wednesday. She then goes to sleep.

LET’S DO THIS. I just heard thunder. LET’S DO THIS QUICKLY.

-Chapter Thirteen-

At the back of my mind, I’m worried that perhaps I’ve been too negative in my response to the contract. Perhaps he’ll call the whole thing off.

NO YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE CALLING THE WHOLE THING OFF.

It doesn’t count as negativity if you are merely pointing out items in the contract that you don’t want to do. That’s called “standing up for yourself.” I know it’s a foreign concept to you.

Ana decides to call her mom, who I guess can’t come to Ana’s graduation because her new husband is injured? Idk that’s kind of shitty. I’m sure you can find someone else to help take care of him for a couple days while you go see your only daughter’s college graduation.

Ana doesn’t seem too upset about it though. I guess her step-dad Ray will be there, who’s basically her dad in every sense but biologically, so that’s nice.

Ana’s mom then magically knows that Ana has met someone, but Ana refuses to tell her about Christian. That’s probably a good call, Ana.

Ana then gets an email from Christian in response to her email about her list of issues she has with the contract.

Following my more thorough examination of your issues, may I bring to your attention the definition of submissive.
submissive – adjective
1. inclined or ready to submit, unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants
2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply
[…]
Please bear this in mind for our meeting on Wednesday.

—–

My initial feeling is one of relief. He’s willing to discuss my issues at least, and he still wants to meet tomorrow.

exasperated sigh

Um, Ana, I think you misread that email.

You sent him a list of things that you weren’t comfortable with/things you wanted to discuss, and he replied with UM IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT A SUBMISSIVE IS.

How does that mean he’s willing to discuss your issues.

It sounds like he thinks you’re an idiot who doesn’t know what “submissive” means, and it also REALLY sounds like he’s not willing to budge on most of the things in that contract.

Ana decides to respond:

May I offer a definition for you to consider for our meeting:
compromise – noun
1. a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

oh snap

CHRISTIAN JUST GOT SERVED.

FUCK YEAH, ANASTASIA STEELE. LIKE A BOSS.

That was a pretty great comeback, not going to lie.

Christian then says she made a good point (fuck yeah she did) and says he’ll pick her up tomorrow at 7.

Ana replies and says she’d prefer to drive herself, which I think is a great idea, considering she might want to run away as fast as possible because Christian will probably try and murder her.

This is Christian’s response:

Do you ever think you’ll be able to do what you’re told?

SHE JUST SAID SHE WANTED TO DRIVE HERSELF TO MEET YOU.

HOW IS THAT “DISOBEYING” YOU.

YOU CONTROLLING PILE OF FUCKS.

Ana replies “I would like to drive. Please.”

And Christian says “Fine. My hotel at 7:00.”

What a pouty little crybaby. Jesus. She just asked to drive herself to meet you, Christian, you are making this a way bigger deal than it actually is.

And then we get the next two emails printed out for us on the page, even though they are both only one line, one email from Ana saying “Thank you” and another email from Christian saying “You’re Welcome.”

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON WASTING SO MUCH PAGE SPACE ON THESE STUPID EMAILS.

I DON’T NEED TO SEE THE FULL EMAIL, WITH A SUBJECT, DATE, AND CHRISTIAN’S STUPID SIGNATURE.

So much wasted space. Ugh.

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