Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 13 [part 3]

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They go back to discussing Ana’s list of issues, one of which was her problem with the fact that Christian wanted her to eat only stuff off of a food list that he provided.

“Can I modify to say that you will eat at least three meals a day?”
“No.” I am so not backing down on this. No one is going to dictate to me what I eat. How I fuck, yes, but eat…no, no way.
He purses his lips.
“I need to know that you’re not hungry.”
I frown. Why?
“You’ll have to trust me.”

I guess this is supposed to be another stab at character development, like we’re supposed to care that he’s being all weird about what/when/how much she eats?

I know Ana thinks she trusts you, Christian, but I don’t. And you’re being extra weird.

“Why can’t I look at you?”
“That’s a Dom/sub thing. You’ll get used to it.”

nope like a boss

That’s a “Christian Grey” thing. That has nothing to do with Dom/Sub relationships. Each BDSM relationship is different, and I’d say that in probably 99% of them they’re allowed to look at each other.

“Why can’t I touch you?”
“Because you can’t.”

WOW A+ LOGIC THERE.

Then Ana asks if it has something to do with Mrs. Robinson (the older woman who was his Dominant when he was 16), and he says it doesn’t have anything to do with it, and he says (and I quote): “Mrs. Robinson wouldn’t take any of that shit from me.”

“I don’t want you touching yourself, either.”
What? Ah yes, the no masturbation clause.
“Out of curiosity…why?”
“Because I want all your pleasure,” his voice is husky, but determined.

haha fuck you kanye

If she wants to masturbate, she can masturbate, you controlling fuck. How will you know if she breaks that rule? Are you going to install security cameras in her bedroom?

…I honestly wouldn’t put it past Christian to do that.

Then Christian starts talking about how he wants to fuck Ana, and it’s all really gross and creepy and I don’t even know what parts to quote to illustrate how creepy and gross it is, so you’ll just have to trust me on that one…or buy the book, if you want to torture yourself.

Ana starts to tease Christian by eating her asparagus all sexy-like. I wasn’t aware you could eat asparagus in a sexy way, but alright?

As much as my body craves his touch, my mind is rebelling. I need some distance to think about all he’s said. I still haven’t made a decision, and his sexual allure and prowess doesn’t make it any easier.

Good idea!

It’s so weird how Ana is so stupid and weak and ridiculous 98% of the time, and then randomly she has these wonderful brilliant insights about things.

Too bad she almost never follows through on them. How much you want to bet she’ll be fucking Christian in the car in about 10 minutes.

“I think I should go.” I stare down at my hands.
“Go?” He can’t hide his surprise.
The waiter leaves hastily.
“Yes.” It’s the right decision. If I stay here, in this room with him, he will fuck me. I stand, purposefully. “We both have the graduation ceremony tomorrow.”

yes signs

GOOD JOB.

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!

Except “he will fuck me”?

Really?

You won’t fuck him. He’ll fuck you. That sounds…rapey. How…comforting.

“I don’t want you to go.”
“Please…I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve given me so much to consider…and I need some distance.”
“I could make you stay,” he threatens.
“Yes, you could easily, but I don’t want you to.”

Again with the rape threats. Jesus. Thank god Ana at least stands up to him a little bit.

Then Christian starts trying to convince Ana to stay by making out with her all over, and asking her to spend the night with him. Christian is also convinced that he won’t see Ana again, which we know isn’t true, because there are 13 more chapters to deal with, not to mention 2 more books after this one.

“Christian, I have to think about this. I don’t know if I can have the kind of relationship you want.”

ANASTASIA STEELE YOU ARE BEING SO AWESOME RIGHT NOW.

YOU TELL THAT CREEPY ASSHOLE WHO’S BOSS.

I’m so proud, it’s like watching my little girl grow up! *sniffle*

Christian walks Ana out to the parking lot and judges her car super hard, because it’s old and whatever. And then he maybe offers to buy her a new one?

Christian, you can’t just throw money at people and expect them to like you.

UGH and then Ana tears up as she says goodbye, because now she’s afraid it will be the last time she sees him because she might say no.

UGH THIS IS ALL SO OVERDRAMATIC. I WANT TO VOMIT AND DIE.

Ana gets home and finds an email from Christian.

I don’t understand why you ran this evening. I sincerely hope I answered all your questions to your satisfaction. I know I have given you a great deal to contemplate, and I fervently hope that you will give my proposal your serious consideration. I really want to  make this work. We will take it slow. Trust me.

What do you mean, you don’t understand why she ran? MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU ESSENTIALLY THREATENED TO RAPE HER. AND ALSO FORCED HER TO EAT WHEN SHE WASN’T HUNGRY. ALSO YOU WERE AN INTIMIDATING, CREEPY FUCK THE WHOLE TIME.

So yeah, no reason why she would run away from you. No reason whatsoever.

His e-mail makes me weep more. I am not a merger. I am not an acquisition. reading this, I might as well be. I don’t reply. I just don’t know what to say to him. I fumble into my PJs and, wrapping his jacket around me, I climb into bed. As I lie staring into the darkness, I think of all the times he warned me to stay away.

ugh

Seriously I just want to punch Ana in the face. She is being so dramatic over a guy who sounds like really bad news.

I know you’re sad, Ana, but the weeping and wrapping yourself in his jacket thing is a little much.

So. Many. Feelings.

Before Ana goes to sleep, she thinks about the time Christian said “This is all I know.”

This is all I know, too. Perhaps together we can chart a new course.

UGHH.

This Dom/Sub thing is clearly not what Ana wants, because she wants romance, she wants a relationship where they can cuddle and kiss and go see movies, and Christian doesn’t want that. That SHOULD mean that Ana says no and leaves Christian alone and goes and dates a nice guy who wants what she wants in a relationship, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.

-End of Chapter Thirteen-

13 out of 26 chapters complete!  Halfway done, chapter-wise, though a little less than halfway done page-wise.

See you Friday!

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2 thoughts on “Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 13 [part 3]

  1. Ugh, Ana, you should have picked the fucking cats. Seriously, if that was your choice, house of classic books and cats or Christian Grey? Cats and books, all the way.

  2. Dump his ass, go on fetlife, go to a munch, and meet a dom who respects your boundaries and cares about your wants and needs. They’re out there, trust me. Some even have super loving and caring relationships that go on for years.

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