Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 15 [part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Christian and Ana continue drinking their champagne, which is pink and sounds quite fancy (because Christian is rich and can afford everything, in case you’ve forgotten in the past 15 minutes).

Christian rises gracefully and collects the bottle. He fills my cup. Is he getting me tipsy? I eye him suspiciously.

WOW THAT’S A SCARY THOUGHT TO HAVE.

I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy, boyfriend or just friend, who I worried might be trying to get me drunk.

That sounds awful rapey. Oh goodie.

“So what are you doing about work in Seattle?”
When are we going to talk about the limits? What’s his game?
“I have a couple of interviews for intern places.”
“You were going to tell me this when?” He arches a brow.
“Err…I’m telling you now.”
He narrows his eyes.

really adam levine

SHE’S NOT REQUIRED TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT HER PERSONAL LIFE.

YOU’RE NOT EXACTLY “DATING,” ASSHOLE.

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A JERK BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T TELL YOU SOONER.

STOP BEING SO CREEPY AND CONTROLLING, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Ana successfully avoids telling Christian what publishing houses she’s interviewing to intern at, and she says she doesn’t want to tell him so he can’t influence their decision to hire her, which is probably a good idea, since Christian is a creepy fuck who would totally pull rank and call those places and demand that they hire Ana.

…Although, since he IS a creepy fuck, he’ll probably just have his private investigator figure out what publishing houses Ana’s interviewing at anyway.

He’s seriously such a creepyshow, I can’t even handle it.

They finally decide to begin discussing the soft limits in the contract.

Christian first asks if Ana’s had anything to eat before giving her more champagne, and Ana says she ate dinner with Ray and rolls her eyes at Christian.

“Next time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee.”

And so it begins.

“No fisting, you say. Anything else you object to?” he asks softly.
I swallow.
“Anal intercourse doesn’t exactly float my boat.”
“I’ll agree to the fisting, but I’d really like to claim your ass, Anastasia. But we’ll wait for that.

disgusted Jennifer Lawrence

UM

EXCUSE ME.

CLAIM

YOUR

ASS.

THAT IS AN ACTUAL PHRASE IN AN ACTUAL BOOK THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST-SELLING BOOKS ON AMAZON.COM.

THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HAVE PAID MONEY FOR A BOOK THAT CONTAINS THE PHRASE “CLAIM YOUR ASS.”

WHAT

THE

FUCK.

In other news, Ana, you just had sex for the first time like a week and a half ago, how do you know you don’t like anal? I mean, obviously not everyone likes it, but some people do, and you never know.

Anyway.

“Besides, it’s not something we can dive into,” he smirks at me. “Your ass  will need training.”

I think I’ve used this gif before, but it’s even more appropriate now:

let's get down to business

uuuuughhhhh.

UUUUGHHHHH.

NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS.

WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK SAYS THINGS LIKE “I REALLY WANT TO CLAIM YOUR ASS” AND “YOU RASS WILL NEED TRAINING.”

I mean, okay, yes, with anal intercourse you need to build up to it, you can’t just go all-in because you might end up hurting yourself/your partner. I get that.

But why couldn’t he say “We need to build up to it”?

Or literally ANYTHING ELSE.

“Your ass will need training.”

Jesus. H. Christ.

“Anal intercourse can be very pleasurable, trust me. But if we try it and you don’t like it, we don’t have to do it again.” He grins down at me.
I blink up at him. He thinks I’ll enjoy it?

I mean, not all women enjoy it, but some do? And acting like it’s weird for women to enjoy anal is pretty stupid?

Kink-shaming is dumb. I mean, I think it’s important to be aware of kinks that are a little…I guess dangerous? Like rape fantasies and things that involve pain and role-playing that involves very taboo subjects like huge age gaps or things like that. It’s important to be aware of those kinds of kinks and to try and examine the motivations behind them so it doesn’t escalate into anything more dangerous or illegal or anything.

But what happens between two consenting adults is no one else’s business, and if both parties enjoy it then hey, go for it.

Especially something that’s fairly normal these days, like anal. Shaming people who like it is really dumb. If you don’t like it or don’t see the appeal of it, that’s fine, but just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean anyone else has to agree with you.

They discuss more soft limits, like sex toys, swallowing semen, and various types of bondage. Meanwhile, Ana is beginning to feel the alcohol, which means she should probably stop drinking, because this is a pretty serious conversation and she should have all her mental faculties, but $20 says she doesn’t stop drinking.

“Do you like tying your submissives up so they can’t touch you?”
He gazes at me, his eyes widening.
“That’s one of the reasons,” he says quietly.
“Is that why you’ve tied my hands?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t like talking about that,” I murmur.
“No, I don’t. Would you like another drink? It’s making you brave, and I need to know how you feel about pain.”

First of all, not every sexual kink is tied to some kind of deep-seated psychological issue. You don’t need to have had issues in your childhood or your past in order to enjoy BDSM. Some people just like the things that they like, and I’m starting to resent the idea that’s being pushed through this book that these kinks Christian has are because of some psychological trauma, like if he hadn’t had a messed up childhood he’d be “normal.”

No one is normal. And sometimes people just like tying up their partner or getting tied up themselves. It’s not always evidence of something.

Second of all.

If Ana isn’t brave enough to discuss her pain limits while sober, how the FUCK is this relationship ever going to work?

BDSM is based on trust, and more importantly, COMMUNICATION.

If Christian can’t trust sober-Ana to COMMUNICATE HER FEELINGS to him, HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY EVER GOING TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK.

HOW THE HELL IS THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING TO WORK LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE 3 BOOKS BASED AROUND IT.

NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

drinking sad

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4 thoughts on “Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 15 [part 2]

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