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They begin discussing pain/punishment.
“It’s not as bad as you think. Your imagination is your worst enemy in this,” he whispers.
“Do you have to do it?”
“Goes with the territory, Anastasia. It’s what I do.”
First of all, WHY DOESN’T ANYONE SPEAK ABOVE A GODDAMNED WHISPER IN THIS BOOK.
Second of all, you don’t HAVE to do it, Christian.
You WANT to do it.
And Ana should WANT you to do it too. It’s not required. There are people who only do bondage, and don’t do the pain/punishment aspect of it. There are people that do very little of the pain/punishment. There’s a whole spectrum of people all doing different things in different ways.
You don’t “HAVE” to do anything, fuckface.
“Well, you said no to genital clamps. That’s fine. It’s caning that hurts the most.”
“We can work up to that.”
“Or not do it at all,” I whisper.
“This is part of the deal, baby, but we’ll work up to all of this. Anastasia, I won’t push you too far.”
SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GET HIT WITH A CANE.
AND YOU BASICALLY REPLIED BY SAYING “SHH NO IT’S OKAY WE’LL STILL DO IT DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT.”
SHE JUST BASICALLY TOLD YOU SHE DIDN’T WANT YOU TO HIT HER WITH A CANE AND YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED IT.
NONE OF THIS IS “REQUIRED,” NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEEM TO THINK, CHRISTIAN. IF ANA DOESN’T WANT TO DO SOME OF THESE THINGS, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FORCE HER TO DO THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE DOING THEM.
YOU ARE SUCH A PILE OF SHIT I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HANDLE YOU.
“This punishment thing, it worries me the most.” My voice is very small.
“Well, I’m glad you’ve told me. We’ll keep caning off the list for now.”
WHY COULDN’T WE KEEP CANING OFF THE LIST EARLIER WHEN SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.
And then Christian says he wants to fuck her, big surprise there.
But first they start talking about how Ana wanted more, “more” as in “an actual relationship with affection and shit”, and Christian says this:
“Outside of the time you’re my sub, perhaps we could try. I don’t know if it will work. I don’t know about separating everything. It may not work. But I’m willing to try. Maybe one night a week. I don’t know.”
I mean, I guess that’s sweet of him? Only one night a week though, that’s sort of bullshit. I don’t know why he’s so scared of actual affection, like going out on dates and stuff, especially considering the fact that they’ve already done that several times, but whatever.
“I have one condition.” He looks warily at my stunned expression.
“What?” I breathe. Anything. I’ll give you anything.
“You graciously accept my graduation present to you.”
“Oh.” And deep down I know what it is. Dread spawns in my belly.
Parked outside is a red hatchback car, a two-door compact Audi.
Are you serious.
She was weird about you buying her expensive books and about you giving her an expensive computer and instead of realizing “hey maybe Ana is uncomfortable when I buy her expensive things she doesn’t want, maybe I should ask her first,” you GO AND BUY HER A CAR.
Jesus. You are ridiculous.
He’s bought me a damned car, brand new by the looks of it. Jeez…I’ve had enough trouble with the books. I stare at it blankly, trying desperately to determine how I feel about this. I am appalled on one level, grateful on another, shocked that he’s actually done it, but the overriding emotion is anger. Yes, I’m angry, especially after everything I told him about the books…but then he’d already bought this.
How much you want to bet that Ana will confront Christian about this and Christian will completely ignore everything she says to him and he’ll demand she keep the car even if it makes her uncomfortable?
“It’s a gift, Anastasia. Can’t you just say thank you?”
“But you know it’s too much.”
“Not to me it isn’t, not for my peace of mind.”
IT ISN’T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, ASSHOLE.
I frown at him, at a loss what to say. He just doesn’t get it! He’s had money all his life. Okay, not all his life – not as a small child – and my world view shifts. The thought is very sobering, and I soften toward the car, feeling guilty about my fit of pique. His intentions are good, misguided, but not from a bad place.
Just because his intentions are good doesn’t mean you’re obligated to keep a present that you feel uncomfortable about.
And just because he had a fucked up childhood doesn’t mean you can just excuse the fact that he refuses to even acknowledge how you feel about these overly expensive gifts.
I just looked up how much a brand new car like that would cost, and it looks like it was at least $57,000.
That is a lot of fucking money.
And I personally am of the opinion that the person driving the car should pick it out. What if she’s not comfortable with that model of car? What if it doesn’t have the mileage she wants or its not a color she wants or something?
It was very nice of Christian to get Ana a car, but it also seems like he thinks it’s his job to help her because she’s so far below him economically.
Christian, you knew she loved the car she had, and okay, you think it’s not safe, but why not TALK TO HER about either buying her a new car, or helping her get her old car fixed up?
IT ISN’T ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU THINK SHE NEEDS.
IT SHOULD BE ABOUT WHAT ANA WANTS TOO. WHAT DOES SHE WANT AND NEED.
This book should be called 50 Shades of Christian Being a Selfish Asshole.