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Ana starts crying into her pillow because of this whole thing with Christian, which PROBABLY MEANS SHE SHOULD BREAK IT OFF, but of course she won’t do that.
But then, before she goes to sleep, she hears Kate shouting outside.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
“Well you can’t!”
“What the fuck have you done to her now?”
“Since she’s met you she cries all the time.”
“You can’t come in here!”
What is happening!
Christian bursts into my bedroom and unceremoniously switches on the overhead light, making me squint.
Oh. Of course. Christian just basically broke into their apartment against Kate’s wishes. Because that is TOTALLY okay.
“What are you doing here?” I gasp between sobs. Crap. I can’t stop crying.
He switches on the sidelight, making me squint again. Kate comes and stands in the doorway.
“Do you want me to throw this asshole out?” she asks, radiating thermonuclear hostility.
Oh please, PLEASE throw him out. PLEASE.
But of course, she doesn’t, and Kate just…leaves them alone? What the fuck.
“Part of my role is to look after your needs. You said you wanted me to stay, so here I am. And yet I find you like this.” He blinks at me, truly bewildered. “I’m sure I’m responsible, but I have no idea why. Is it because I hit you?”
THIS IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE TALK. JESUS CHRIST.
Also, it was pretty obvious that she wanted you to stay earlier, and you still left, so what the fuck?
IT’S CALLED A FUCKING CELL PHONE.
FUCKING USE IT.
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES EMAILS. WAYS OF COMMUNICATION THAT INVOLVE ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
“Talk to me,” he whispers. “You told me you were okay. I’d never have left you if I thought you were like this.”
I stare down at my hands. What can I say that I haven’t said already? I want more. I want him to stay because he wants to stay with me, not because I’m a blubbering mess, and I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?
FIND A DIFFERENT BOYFRIEND.
“I take it that when you said you were okay, you weren’t.”
“I thought I was fine.”
“Anastasia, you can’t tell me what you think I want to hear. That’s not very honest,” he admonishes me. “How can I trust anything you’ve said to me?”
YOU CAN’T. YOU SHOULD BREAK UP NOW AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE. CLEARLY THIS ISN’T WORKING OUT.
“How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?”
“I didn’t like it. I’d rather you didn’t do it again.”
“You weren’t meant to like it.”
“Why do you like it?”
“I like the control it brings me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you. I’ve wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay.”
“I don’t want to change you. I’d like you to be courteous and to follow the set of rules I’ve given you and not defy me. Simple,” he says.
“But you want to punish me?”
“Yes I do.”
“That’s what I don’t understand.”
He sighs and runs his hands through his hair again.
“It’s the way I’m made, Anastasia. I need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way, and if you don’t – I love to watch your beautiful alabaster skin pink and warm up under my hands. It turns me on.”
If that’s the way you’re made and you literally cannot control it, and Ana doesn’t like it, that means YOU SHOULDN’T BE TOGETHER.
YOU TWO ARE SO DYSFUNCTIONAL I SWEAR TO GOD.
“And you still haven’t answered my question – how did you feel afterwards?”
“You were sexually aroused by it, Anastasia,” he closes his eyes briefly, and when he reopens them and gazes at me they are smoldering smoky embers.
Just because she was wet afterwards doesn’t automatically mean she liked it.
Just like how boners don’t automatically equal a want to have sex.
The idea that “she wanted it” is used as an excuse for rape a lot, maybe she “wanted it” because of the way she was dressed, the way she was acting, maybe she kissed him and then told him no, or maybe at some point she felt wet to him, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.
If Ana says she didn’t like it, that means she didn’t like it, regardless of what her vagina said.
Last I checked, a vagina doesn’t have emotions. Fun fact.
And then they try and continue the discussion but they both end up wanting to fuck one another, but Christian didn’t bring any condoms (he mentions this first) and also Ana is upset (he mentions this second, meaning that if they had condoms they probably would have still had sex, regardless of Ana’s emotional state). So the conversation comes to a standstill and then Christian says he’d like to go to sleep, and asks if he can stay.
I hate that I find that kind of sweet. He just put her through emotional hell, and broke into her apartment against her roommate’s wishes, and all he did to make up for it was to offer to spend the night in the same bed as Ana.
That’s not sweet. That’s not romantic. He’s still an asshole.
This stupid book keeps trying to make me like Christian Grey and I REFUSE.
He crawls into bed with her, they cuddle, and Ana falls asleep.
-End of Chapter 16-
So basically Christian is still a pile of fucks, Ana is SO not cut out for BDSM, but does that mean they’ll break up? Of course not.
Ughhhhh I HATE THEM BOTH SO MUCH.
It’s a good thing I have a digital copy of these books. If I had a hard copy I’d probably have set them on fire by now. Not that I condone book burning, the books would just have spontaneously combusted from how much they fill me with rage.
Chapter 17 tomorrow! If I don’t explode with hatred for Christian Grey first!