Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 20 [part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Surprisingly, Christian cums first, and Ana doesn’t. Except during the sex, she told herself not to cum, but then she was thinking about how bad she wanted it? So now I’m confused by what she wants.

“Don’t touch yourself. I want you frustrated. That’s what you do to me by not talking to me, by denying me what’s mine.” His eyes blaze anew, angry again.

so fucking done

Excuse me.

Kindly shut the fuck up.

Why is it that the two things you should be the MOST pissed off about (Ana planning a vacation and not telling you, and going out to the bar with someone threatening and untrustworthy) are the things that you’re just mildly upset by?

And the thing you are MOST UPSET BY, is the STUPIDEST THING ON THE LIST.

YOU’RE STILL MAD BECAUSE SHE WOULDN’T LET YOU TOUCH HER VAGINA WHILE YOU TWO WERE EATING DINNER WITH YOUR PARENTS.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

IS

WRONG

WITH

YOU.

DIE IN A FIRE. SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK.

HER VAGINA IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY. SHE IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY. SHE IS A HUMAN BEING AND THEREFORE CANNOT BE PROPERTY.

I get it, that’s part of the BDSM thing, being in control and all that. Heck, even non-BDSM couples will say things like “you’re mine” and whatever. I’ve even said it. And that’s fine.

What IS NOT fine is saying “you’re mine” and following it up with “THEREFORE I GET TO USE YOU HOWEVER I SEE FIT, THE SAME WAY I USE MY CAR AND MY TOILET.”

It’s not okay because Christian means it. He honest to god thinks of Ana as his property. It’s not part of a role-playing thing, it’s not acting, it’s not dirty talk. He believes that Ana is his to use as he sees fit, like she’s an object.

We don’t need any more bullshit forms of media telling women that they’re no more than objects.

“Here. You may put these on.”
From his inside pocket, he produces my panties. I don’t grin as I take them from him, but inside I know – I’ve taken a punishment fuck but gained a small victory over the panties. My inner goddess nods in agreement, a satisfied grin over her face – You didn’t have to ask for them.

Yes, because as all ladies know, it doesn’t matter if your partner demeans you and objectifies you and mistreats you because he threw a temper tantrum after you said no to him, as long as you get your panties back in the end.

tulio headdesk

Ana puts her panties back on, and they hear Christian’s younger sister Mia on the floor below. Apparently Kate and Elliot are leaving, so Mia came to tell Ana and Christian to come say goodbye. They all head back to the house.

Kate hugs me hard.
“I need to speak to you about antagonizing Christian,” I hiss quietly in her ear as she embraces me.
“He needs antagonizing; then you can see what he’s really like. Be careful, Ana – he’s so controlling,” she whispers.

ru paul this

YUP.

THANK YOU KATE.

Now please go get married.

I KNOW WHAT HE’S REALLY LIKE – YOU DON’T! – I scream at her in my head. I’m fully aware that her actions come from a good place, but sometimes she just oversteps the mark, and right now so far that she’s into the neighboring state. I scowl at her, and she pokes her tongue out at me, making me smile unwillingly.

Ughhh.

UGHH.

YES, ANA, YOU DO KNOW WHAT HE’S REALLY LIKE.

AND WHAT HE’S REALLY LIKE IS FUCKING TERRIFYING.

Also jesus christ the chemistry between you and Kate is unreal and if you two don’t get married then I quit.

Ana and Christian end up leaving too, and once they’re out in the car, Christian says something about his family liking Ana. This reminds Ana of her theories about why she was invited to this dinner, which make her sad, but instead of bottling it up, she decides to talk to Christian about it, which is the first time I think I’ve ever seen Ana willingly communicate her feelings to him in person.

“I think that you felt trapped into bringing me to meet your parents.” My voice is soft and hesitant. “If Elliot hadn’t asked Kate, you’d never have asked me.”
[…]
“Anastasia, I’m delighted that you’ve met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt? It never ceases to amaze me. You’re such a strong, self-contained young woman, but you have such negative thoughts about yourself. If I hadn’t wanted you to meet them, you wouldn’t be here.”

Well that’s actually…kind of nice of him. Although  he’s probably just happy that she met his parents because he got to fuck her after dinner. But whatever. I’ll take what I can get, I guess.

“I only mentioned Georgia because Kate was talking about Barbados. I haven’t made up my mind.”
“Do you want to go and see your mother?”
“Yes.”
He looks oddly at me, like he’s having some internal struggle.
“Can I come with you?” he asks eventually.

I hate that I find that kind of sweet. I hate that that’s sort of endearing. He wants to meet her mom. He wants to be a part of her life. That’s really cute, until I remember what a giant pile of shit person he is.

He probably just wants to manipulate Ana even more somehow. Maybe he just gets off on trying to touch Ana’s vagina while at the dinner table with someone’s parents.

“Erm…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I was hoping for a break from all this…intensity to try and think things through.”

That is actually a good idea.

DID WE JUST ENTER SOME KIND OF BIZARRO WORLD WHERE ANA AND CHRISTIAN AREN’T HORRIBLE PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN’T BE TOGETHER?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

I’M AGREEING WITH THINGS AND IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

 

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