Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 22 [part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

After reading Christian’s email, Ana falls asleep, and is woken up a little while later by her mom, who says they’re going out to eat in half an hour.

While getting ready, Ana continues to email Christian back and forth, and they basically start sexting each other through email and talking about how Ana wants Christian to undress her, and all of their email subject lines are disgusting (“moaning,” “groaning,” “panting,” gross.).

Ana goes out to dinner, ruminates on how her mom’s husband Bob is a nice guy, and then goes back to emailing Christian almost immediately following dinner. They continue flirting. I continue vomiting.

Except then Christian says he’s getting dinner with an “old friend,” which immediately has Ana up in arms because she thinks he means Mrs. Robinson, the woman who he had a sexual relationship with when he was 16 and she was his mother’s age. She sends him an email asking him if it is Mrs. Robinson, and then she goes to sleep.

Cut to the next day. Ana and her mother are out at the bar, drinking Cosmopolitans and talking about men.

Her mom goes to the bathroom, and Ana checks her email and finds one from Christian. He confirms that he did go out to eat with Mrs. Robinson, and insists that she’s “just an old friend.”

He was having dinner with her. My scalp prickles as adrenaline and fury lance through my body, all my worst fears realized. How could he? I am away for two days, and he runs off to that evil bitch.

blinking

Woah there, let’s step off the gas for a minute, Ana.

1: You’ve never met this woman.

2: They were just eating dinner.

3: Christian doesn’t have any other friends, he was probably trying to distract himself from missing you, calm down.

4: YOU’VE NEVER MET THIS WOMAN.

Ana is jumping the gun SO MUCH oh my god. I agree, Mrs. Robinson is not a good person, she had a BDSM relationship with the 16 year old son of one of her close friends, which is weird and almost definitely illegal. However, Christian has said numerous times that it happened a long time ago and that there’s nothing for you to be jealous of. You certainly have the right to be uncomfortable with the situation, but calling her an “evil bitch” is a little bit over the top, don’t you think?

Also, if your boyfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend is the one at fault, not the woman he’s cheating with.

But Christian ISN’T cheating on you, so CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

Ana emails him back all mad, and orders another Cosmo.

She checks her phone again, and finds another email from Christian.

This is not something I wish to discuss via e-mail.
How many Cosmopolitans are you going to drink?

Holy fuck, he’s here.

jack's complete lack of surprise

Are you serious right now.

He seriously flew out to Georgia already.

He can’t be away from Ana for over 24 hours.

That is so creepy I can’t even handle it.

-End of Chapter Twenty-Two-

Did I or did I not predict that Christian would do that?

Seriously. What a creepy motherfucker.

It’s called ASKING.

Also, it’s called YOUR GIRLFRIEND LEFT SO SHE COULD GET SOME TIME AWAY FROM YOU TO THINK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU SHOULD LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

“But Caitlin, he just came because he knew she was mad at him!”

Nope. He was already there BEFORE she got mad at him. She got mad at him, and then like 2 minutes later he’s emailing her from the bar where he’s sitting somewhere and WATCHING HER DRINK COSMOS WITH HER MOM.

You cannot fly from Seattle to Savannah in 2 minutes. In case you weren’t already aware of how planes work.

I was so happy that this book got something right about BDSM, and then this happens, and I’m back to wanting to murder everyone.

See you on Monday! Unless I strangle myself first out of rage.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s