Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 23 [part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Christian takes Ana’s hand and squeezes it and suddenly Ana is in Boner City because she hasn’t seen him (i.e. had sex with him) in 2 days, which is apparently a harrowing experience. How has she survived?! Ugh.

Then Carla (Ana’s Mom) says she needs to use the “powder room” again, even though she just went literally 5 minutes ago, and she leaves Christian and Ana alone.

Christian immediately brings up the fact that Ana is mad at him for having dinner with Mrs. Robinson, and he says that their sexual relationship has been over for a long time so Ana shouldn’t be jealous, and anyway Christian only wants Ana so he doesn’t see the big deal.

“I think of her as a child molester, Christian.” I hold my breath waiting for his reaction.
Christian blanches.
“That’s very judgemental. It wasn’t like that,” he whispers, shocked.

pocahontas ew

Ummmm

what.

Christian, you were 16, she was…decidedly older than that. Let’s say 40. Maybe 45. Old enough to know better.

And you were 16, which, according to the law, is too young for informed consent to take place.

Whether or not a person is capable of informed consent at the age of 16 is very, very debateable, but that doesn’t make this situation less creepy.

ALSO, I doubt Christian was capable of informed consent at that age, considering how fucked up he is. If he’s this fucked up now over his mom being a Crack Whore (his words) and dying, I can’t imagine how fucked up he was growing up.

So, while Ana calling her a child molester is maybe a little over the top, it’s not too far off the mark, in my opinion.

“She took advantage of a vulnerable fifteen-year-old boy. If you had been a fifteen-year-old girl and Mrs. Robinson was a Mr. Robinson, tempting you into a BDSM lifestyle, that would have been okay? If it was Mia, say?”

[Mia is his sister]

That’s actually a really interesting point, because our society would probably treat those two events very differently based on gender. Or maybe not. It’s pretty wrong either way, I think.

“She was a force for good. What I needed.”

Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind

[I’m sorry, I had to.]

Christian refuses to discuss this any further, because Carla is coming back soon. He says they can discuss it later. He also says he has a plane waiting on stand-by if Ana wants him to go, which is sort of nice, although that still doesn’t make me any more comfortable with the fact that he flew all the way out from Seattle even though Ana specifically told him she didn’t want him to come with.

Ana, of course, tells him she’s thrilled that he’s here and that she wants him to stay.

Ana then relates the Mrs. Robinson situation to how Christian gets all mad whenever Ana goes and hangs out with José, which is actually a pretty apt comparison. But Christian doesn’t listen, as always, and really doesn’t do or say anything to help Ana feel more comfortable with his friendship with Mrs. Robinson.

We also find out that he and Mrs. Robinson are business partners? What. That’s…weird.

“Why did your relationship finish?”
His mouth narrows and his eyes gleam.
“Her husband found out.”

so fucking done

THIS IS A FUCKING SOAP OPERA. JESUS CHRIST.

Ana’s mom comes back and Christian decides to leave them to their evening. After he leaves, Carla tells Ana to go talk to him.

“I can’t. I came here to see you.”
“Ana, you came here because you’re confused about that boy. It’s obvious you two are crazy about each other. You need to talk to him. He’s just flown three-thousand-odd miles to see you, for heaven’s sake. And you know how awful it is to fly.”

WOW, CARLA, YOU WIN THE MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD!

 

 

ass trophy

Are you actually serious right now.

“Oh, honey, it is so sweet that that beautiful man flew 3,000 miles out of his way just to stalk you!”

NO.

HE IS A STALKER AND CREEPY AND YOU NEED TO STOP.

ALSO YOU HAVEN’T SEEN YOUR DAUGHTER IN FOREVER AND YOU’RE THAT QUICK TO GET RID OF HER?

REAL NICE.

This is so infuriating oh my goddd.

Then Carla basically tells her daughter to go get it in. Ana says she’ll go after they finish their drinks.

I swear to god this whole family is just plain ridiculous. WHY DOES NO ONE CARE THAT HE IS A STALKER. UGHHHH.

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