Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 24 [part 1]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs/images used in this post (or any other for that matter). If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Happy Wednesday!

RECAP: Christian comes and finds Ana and her mom Carla out at a bar that he just happened to be at, and he definitely isn’t stalking Ana or anything. Instead of being alarmed by this, Carla is instantly in love with Christian. She leaves the two of them alone while she goes to the “powder room.” While she’s gone, Ana and Christian discuss Ana’s frustration that Christian went out to dinner with Mrs. Robinson. Ana reveals that she thinks of Mrs. Robinson as a child molester and Christian doesn’t understand why Ana has a problem with the fact that a middle aged woman “seduced” Christian when he was 15. Carla comes back, and Christian decides to leave the two alone to have mother-daughter time. After he leaves, Carla basically tells Ana to go get her dick wet and says that because Christian flew 3000+ miles to see Ana, he must be really in love with her (which I guess is true, although I think it’s more an example of stalking than love, but whatever). Ana goes and finds Christian’s hotel room. She tries to talk to Christian about their problems, but instead of an actual conversation happening, they just decide to bone. Ana is on her period, which doesn’t deter Christian, who proceeds to pull Ana’s tampon out and they have gross bathroom sex. After sex, they discuss Mrs. Robinson again, and how she “saved” Christian from becoming like his birth mother (we’re not sure if this means he would have ended up addicted to crack, a whore, or dead). They have more sexy times and then go to bed.

Alright, let’s do this!

-Chapter Twenty-Four-

This chapter starts with yet another stupid dream sequence. Something about Christian being in a cage and offering Ana a strawberry and then the cage disappears and she touches his chest.

STOP USING DREAM SEQUENCES TO TELL US HOW ANA IS FEELING SUBCONSCIOUSLY.

It’s even more annoying because we already have a way to find out how Ana’s subconscious is feeling, because her subconscious has already been personified so many times, why not just HAVE HER SUBCONSCIOUS TELL US HOW IT’S FEELING.

So stupid.

Christian wakes Ana up, except it’s not even morning yet and the sun isn’t up? That’s not very nice. He says he wants to “chase the dawn” with her, whatever that means. I guess that’s supposed to be sweet and romantic, but as someone who really enjoys her sleep, I would be super pissed off if he did that to me.

Ana wonders if he woke her up to have sex, which is apparently not the case, since he says he’ll “take a raincheck” on sex.

Guys.

I don’t think you realize what I just said.

“Come on – up you go. We’re going out. I’ll take a rain check on the sex.”

WHAATTT turtle

CHRISTIAN GREY

JUST TURNED DOWN SEX.

I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY OR SOMETHING. CRACK OPEN A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, EVERYBODY. CHRISTIAN GREY DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE SEX!

Sorry, I got excited.

They eat breakfast, or rather Christian eats and glares at Ana who doesn’t want to eat and opts instead to just drink her weird tea-water. If you remember, Ana likes to dip her tea bag in the tea for like 2 seconds before fishing it back out. Like I said, tea-water.

As they leave, Christian throws Ana a sweatshirt, even though they’re in Georgia, so idk where they’re going. Maybe to hell, which froze over the second Christian Grey turned down sex.

While in the car, they listen to some opera music which is about a “doomed courtesan” which is supposed to be symbolic or something, I don’t know. Ana doesn’t feel comfortable with it so Christian lets her pick the music. She puts on “Toxic,” by Britney Spears, which is probably also symbolic of something.

We find out that Christian didn’t put that song on his ipod, one of his former Submissives did, a woman named Leila, whose relationship with Christian ended because she wanted romance and he didn’t.

They start discussing more of Christian’s relationship past.

“I’ve only had long term relationships with four women, apart from Elena.”
“Elena?”
“Mrs. Robinson to you.” He half smiles his secret private joke smile.
Elena! Holy Fuck. The evil one has a name and its all foreign sounding. A vision of a glorious pale-skinned vamp with raven hair and ruby-red lips comes to mind, and I know that she’s beautiful. I must not dwell. I must not dwell.

khaleesi rolling eyes

Ughhh Ana you are SO RIDICULOUS.

You can be uncomfortable with Christian having such a close friendship with a woman that he used to have a sexual relationship with, that’s fine, understandable even.

But calling her “evil one” and “bitch” all the time is ridiculous. She’s probably not trying to break up your relationship, and if she is, it’s up to Christian to fix that, and you calling her “evil” all the time doesn’t fix anything. You are overreacting like crazy.

Also is that vampire reference supposed to be alluding to Twilight? I almost forgot this story was originally Twilight fanfiction. I’m glad you reminded me, E.L. James.

Elena isn’t even that foreign of a name! Ana you are ridiculous.

We find out they’re heading out to an airfield to go “soaring,” or “gliding.” I’m assuming this is something rich people do when they have too much money to spend.

They get Ana strapped into a parachute and into the glider, and there’s a whole bunch of plane jargon and mumbo-jumbo that I don’t understand and neither does Ana so I’m not really sure why it’s even on the page.

They take off, being pulled by a tow plane, which later releases them, and they begin spiralling towards the sun. Cue another reference to the Icarus myth about flying too close to the sun.

The plane banks and turns as the wing dips, and we spiral toward the sun. Icarus. This is it. I am flying close to the sun, but he’s with me, leading me. I gasp at the realization.

Ugh, I am literally drowning in symbolism.

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