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They continue discussing the rules, and Ana says she’ll have to read them again, so Christian goes and gets a copy for her (apparently he just has copies of their contract littered about the place). When he hands it to Ana, she notices that he’s crossed some things out.
This part of the contract has been reproduced, AGAIN, in its entirety in the book, taking up several pages of valuable page space that could have been taken up by things like character development, actually realistic dialogue, and other important things that this book is sorely lacking in.
But no. We get the contract.
Here are the things that have been crossed out:
- “The Submissive will eat regularly to maintain her health and wellbeing from a prescribed list of foods. The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.” [I’m glad he crossed this out, although the fact that it was even in there to begin with shows that he’s a controlling dick.]
Oh. Never mind. That’s the only thing that has been crossed out.
THAT WHOLE THING GOT REPEATED, WHEN YOU COULD HAVE JUST SUMMARIZED IT FOR US AND TOLD US THAT THE FOOD THING WAS CROSSED OUT.
Fuck this boooookkkkkkkk.
Then Ana rolls her eyes at Christian, which is pretty high on his no-no list (which isn’t even part of the contract, but okay). So he gets mad for pretty much no reason and then says he wants to spank her.
“You want to spank me now.”
“Yes. And I will.”
YOU JUST SAID YOU COULDN’T PUNISH HER WITHOUT HER PERMISSION YOU LYING FUCK.
“Oh, really, Mr. Grey?” I challenge, grinning back at him. Two can play at this game.
THIS ISN’T A GAME. HE IS ABUSIVE AND SCARY. STOP IT.
“Are you going to stop me?”
“You’re going to have to catch me first.”
I SEE NO WAY FOR THIS TO GO HORRIBLY WRONG.
“I’m quite fast, you know.” I try for nonchalance.
“So am I.”
He’s stalking me, in his own kitchen.
“Anastasia, you may fall and hurt yourself. Which will put you in direct contravention of rule number seven.”
“I have been in danger since I met you, Mr. Grey, rules or no rules.”
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS RELATIONSHIP IS A GOOD THING.
CHRISTIAN GREY IS SCARY AS FUCK.
AND ANA KNOWS HE’S SCARY AS FUCK.
AND STILL LIKES HIM.
This makes no sense. At all.
“Anyone would think you didn’t want me to catch you.”
“I don’t. That’s the point. I feel about punishment the way you feel about me touching you.”
His entire demeanor changes in a nanosecond. Gone is playful Christian, and he stands staring at me as if I’d slapped him.
Oh for the love of fuck.
“Christian, I don’t like when you punish me because it hurts.”
“But…but I like hurting you?”
“No, it’s like how you feel when I do something you don’t like, like touching your chest near your scars.”
“Oh, wait…so hurting is a BAD thing?”
Christian are you seriously this stupid.
He literally can’t understand any other person’s feelings except his own. If Ana says no to something he takes it as a personal insult, and doesn’t even consider the fact that she’s saying no because she doesn’t like it.
UGH I HATE THEM BOTH SO MUCH.
“But last night, in the playroom, you…” he trails off.
“I do it for you, Christian, because you need it. I don’t. You didn’t hurt me last night. That was in a different context, and I can rationalize that internally, and I trust you. But when you want to punish me, I worry that you’ll hurt me.”
He WILL hurt you, because that’s what PUNISHMENT means, you stupid fuck.
YOU SHOULDN’T ENGAGE IN BDSM, OR ANY KIND OF SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, SOLELY FOR THE BENEFIT OF ONE PERSON. YOU SHOULD DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO DO IT, BECAUSE YOU ENJOY IT IN A COMPLETELY SELFISH WAY.
YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER EVER EVER SACRIFICE YOUR EMOTIONAL COMFORT AND HAPPINESS FOR THE SAKE OF ANOTHER PERSON.
I hate this book. I hate this book and everything in it. I want this book to die in a fire because it is bad and wrong and everyone loves it and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT SEE HOW HORRIBLE THESE PEOPLE ARE TO EACH OTHER.
“I want to hurt you. But not beyond anything that you couldn’t take.”
He runs his hand through his hair, and he shrugs.
“I just need it.” He pauses, gazing at me with anguish, and he closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I can’t tell you,” He whispers.
“Can’t or won’t?”
So you know why.”
“But you won’t tell me.”
“If I do, you will run screaming from this room, and you’ll never want to return.” He stares at me warily. “I can’t risk that, Anastasia.”
RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE BUILT ON OPENNESS AND HONESTY. NOT SECRETS AND BEATINGS.
I’m crossing my fingers and hoping he confesses to being a serial killer and that’s why he likes hurting her.
But it’ll probably be something really stupid and dumb.
“Don’t leave me. You said you wouldn’t leave me, and you begged me not to leave you, in your sleep,” he murmurs against my lips.
Oh…my nocturnal confessions.
“I don’t want to go.” And my whole heart clenches, turning itself inside out.
This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he’s lost…somewhere in his darkness. His eyes are wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him, join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light.
OR YOU COULD NOT DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX HIM.
NO PERSON IN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE ASKED TO FIX THEIR PARTNER.
THAT’S NOT WAS ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE. THAT’S NOT WHAT FRIENDS ARE.
YOU DON’T LOVE SOMEONE IN THE HOPES THAT THEY’LL SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AND SHIT.
YOU CAN’T EXPECT SOMEONE TO FIX YOU. AND YOU CAN’T EXPECT TO FIX SOMEONE. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. YOU CAN’T EXPECT TO CHANGE SOMEONE.
YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT THE PERSON YOU LOVE IS IMPERFECT AND LOVE THEM BECAUSE OF IT. YOU LOVE A PERSON BECAUSE OF THEIR FLAWS, NOT IN SPITE OF THEM.
THIS WHOLE THING IS SO FUCKED I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.