Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 26 [part 3]

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“Show me,” I whisper.
“Show you?”
“Show me how much it can hurt.”
“What?”
“Punish me. I want to know how bad it can get.”

Oh for the love of fucks.

This is going to go horribly wrong.

you just know he's gonna kill you

“I’m trying to work this out. And you and I will know, once and for all, if I can do this. If I can handle this, then maybe you -” My words fail me, and his eyes widen again. He knows I am referring to the touch thing.

Yeah he’s just going to murder you, bro. Get out of there.

“I’ll show you how bad it can be, and you can make your own mind up.” He pauses by the door [to the playroom]. “Are you ready for this?”

Oh for the love of GOD. WHY DOES THIS WHOLE SITUATION MAKE ME SO ANXIOUS.

GAH.

So Christian has Ana bend over a bench, and Christian grabs what appears to be a leather belt off of a rack near the door.

Yup. This is going to be real bad.

“We’re here because you said yes, Anastasia. And you ran from me. I am going to hit you six times, and you will count with me.”
[…]
“I am doing this so that you remember not to run from me, and as exciting as it is, I never want you to run from me,” he whispers.

If you don’t want ladies to run from you, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BEAT THEM.

I close my eyes, bracing myself for the blow. It comes hard, snapping across my backside, and the bite of the belt is everythign I feared. I cry out involuntarily, and take a huge gulp of air.
“Count, Anastasia!” he commands.
“One!” I shout at him, and it sounds like an expletive.
He hits me again, and the pain pulses and echoes along the line of the belt. Holy shit…that smarts.

That smarts?! Are you SERIOUS. He’s beating you with a fucking BELT, and all you can think of is “gee, that kind of smarts a bit!”

You’re an idiot.

So he keeps hitting her and Ana starts crying.

“Five.” My voice is more a choked, strangled sob, and in this moment I think I hate him.

Yup. This is a great relationship here. Really healthy and happy and good.

“Six,” I whisper as the blistering pain cuts across me again, and I hear him drop the belt behind me, and he’s pulling me into his arms, all breathless and compassionate…and I want none of him.

Oh shit.

“Let go… no…” and I find myself struggling out of his grasp, pushing him away. Fighting him.
“Don’t touch me!” I hiss.

Oh fuck.

“This is what you really like? Me, like this?” I use the sleeve of the bathrobe to wipe my nose.
He gazes at me warily.
“Well, you are one fucked-up son of a bitch.”
“Ana,” he pleads, shocked.
“Don’t you dare ‘Ana’ me! You need to sort your shit out, Grey!” And with that, I turn stiffly, and I walk out of the playroom, closing the door quietly behind me.

shit shit shit

 

Okay, Ana, I get that you’re upset and in pain and all, but…uh…

WHY DIDN’T YOU SAFE-WORD.

YOU WENT OVER THE SAFE WORDS YESTERDAY.

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL HIM TO STOP.

IF YOU’RE THIS UPSET ABOUT IT, JUST TELL HIM TO STOP.

IT’S NOT THAT DIFFICULT.

So Ana goes back to her room in Christian’s place, lays down in bed and starts crying.

What was I thinking? Why did I let him do that to me? I wanted the dark, to explore how bad it could be – but it’s too dark for me. I cannot do this. Yet, this is what he does; this is how he gets his kicks.
What a monumental wake-up call. And to be fair to him, he warned me and warned me, time and again. He’s not normal. He has needs that I cannot fulfill. I realize that now. I don’t want him to hit me like that again, ever.

IF THIS IS THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE NEXT TWO BOOKS.

They’ll probably get back together or something.

But…but maybe Kate and Elliot will break up, and then Kate and Ana can get together!

MY SHIP WILL NOT SINK.

Oh, his distraught look as I left. I was so cruel, so shocked by the savagery…will he forgive me…will I forgive him?

WHY DOES IT MATTER. BREAK UP. THIS CLEARLY ISN’T WORKING.

That’s it…I have to leave. He’s no good for me, and I am no good for him. How can we possibly make this work?

YOU CAN’T.

MOVE ON.

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