[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
“You are what I want you to be,” he says, his soft voice emphatic.
“No, Christian, I’m not.”
“You’re upset because of what happened last time. I behaved stupidly, and you…so did you. Why didn’t you safe word, Anastasia?”
That is a very good fucking question! Let’s see how she responds.
What? Whoa–change of direction. I flush, blinking at him.
“I don’t know. I was overwhelmed. I was trying to be what you wanted me to be, trying to deal with the pain, and it went out of my mind. You know…I forgot,” I whisper ashamed, and I shrug apologetically.
Jeez, perhaps we could have avoided all this heartache.
AND THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE IN A BDSM RELATIONSHIP, ANA.
TO BE HONEST YOU SHOULDN’T BE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP.
RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE OTHER PERSON.
YOU GET IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON BECAUSE YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO THEM, OR YOU THINK THEY’RE FUNNY, OR BRAVE, OR SMART, OR THEY LIKE THE SAME MUSIC AND BOOKS THAT YOU DO, OR THEY APPRECIATE YOU, OR WHATEVER, MAYBE ALL OF THOSE THINGS, MAYBE FOR ENTIRELY DIFFERENT REASONS, BUT YOU DO IT FOR YOU, NOT FOR THEM.
You can’t get that caught up in being what you think they want you to be. If what they want you to be isn’t what you are, get the fuck out of that relationship.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, if they are doing something that you don’t like, like, oh, I don’t know, HITTING YOU WITH A FUCKING BELT, you need to have the courage to say no!
WHY IS THIS RELATIONSHIP EVEN A THING.
“How can I trust you?” he says, his voice low. “Ever?”
YOU CAN’T. MOVE ON.
So then she says sorry for not using the safe words, which yeah, good job, that really fixes everything.
And now Christian is spouting some bullshit about how he feels “like the sun has set and not risen for five days.”
Ugh. Kill me.
“You said you’d never leave, yet the going gets tough and you’re out the door.”
Yeah, because the “going got tough” when you HIT HER WITH A FUCKING BELT.
THAT’S NOT A NORMAL THING FOR PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH.
It’s not like you started going through a hard time at work or with your family, or your mental issues made you hard to deal with for whatever reason.
“You said you loved me,” he whispers. “Is that now in the past tense?”
Oh jesus, out comes the guilt trip.
Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to lay there and let them beat you.
“No, Christian, it’s not.”
Of course it’s not. You’re going to love him until the day he fucking murders you.
So then the food comes, but Ana is kind of in a lot of emotional turmoil, for good reason, and isn’t very hungry.
“So help me God, Anastasia, if you don’t eat, I will take you across my knee here in this restaurant, and it will have nothing to do with my sexual gratification. Eat!”
Oh, yes, good, because that will definitely put her at ease and make her want to eat. Threats of harm have always worked on her in the past, right?
Christian, have you ever considered the possibility that maybe she doesn’t want to eat because you make her nervous and anxious and it’s hard to eat when you feel that way? Have you ever considered the possibility that JUST MAYBE, she might not be doing this to piss you off, as you seem to think?
It’s like he thinks she’s doing this just to make him mad! What the fuck!
If I was out with someone I really cared about and they weren’t hungry, I would ask what was wrong, ask if there was something else they’d rather eat. I’d make sure they were okay before I started screaming at them and threatening to hit them.
MAYBE THAT’S WHY ANA DIDN’T SAFE WORD, CHRISTIAN. SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFIED OF YOU.
They finish eating (Ana eats almost all her food, in case you were curious), and Christian calls Taylor to have him pick them up, because I guess they’re driving back to Seattle and not taking the helicopter since Christian had a glass of wine.
He then tells Ana that he has a proposition for her.
I’m sure this will be good.
I allow myself a brief moment to examine his godlike profile: straight nose, sculptured full lips, hair falling deliciously over his forehead. This divine man is surely not meant for me.
He’s just a dude, Ana. He’s not fucking Zeus. Chill your boner, bro.
“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fuckery at all?”
I’m so glad that one of the best-selling book series ever contains the phrase “kinky fuckery.”
That phrase is then used 3 more times. In case it wasn’t ridiculous the first time.
[Also, in case you’re a Game of Thrones fan, Charles Dance, who plays Tywin Lannister, does a really excellent reading of this very scene. Charles Dance actually makes Christian Grey seem appealing, although that’s only because Mr. Dance has the voice of a god. You can find the video here: Charles Dance Reads 50 Shades of Grey. I have so many boners for that man’s voice…ANYWAY]
“I like your kinky fuckery,” I whisper.
“That’s what I thought. So what don’t you like?”
Not being able to touch you. You enjoying my pain, the bite of the belt…
“The threat of cruel and unusual punishment.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, you have all those canes and whips and stuff in your playroom, and they frighten the living daylights out of me. I don’t want you to use them on me.”
“Okay, so no whips or canes–or belts, for that matter,” he says sardonically.
I gaze at him puzzled. “Are you attempting to redefine the hard limits?”
“Not as such, I’m just trying to understand you, get a clearer picture of what you do and don’t like.”
“Fundamentally, Christian, it’s your joy in inflicting pain on me that’s difficult for me to handle. And the idea that you’ll do it because I have crossed some arbitrary line.”
I guess they’re trying to sort out their problems? Maybe this can actually work? Except probably not, because even when Christian does something Ana doesn’t like, she’s too scared of him to say anything about it.
This relationship is doomed. They should stop trying. This whole relationship is built on the idea that the two of them aren’t good enough the way they are and require some outside force to mold them so they’re good enough for each other. I don’t like relationships that are based on the idea that both parties have to change to make the relationship work.
If you love someone, you love all of them, you love their flaws, you love the things that piss you off. You don’t try and change them to fit your needs.