[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
Look at me being an actual blogger and junk!
RECAP: So Christian admits that he loves Ana, and they bone several times. We find out some more about Christian’s childhood with his mother, the “Crack Whore.” Christian says he wants to show Ana something, so they get in the car and drive off. While in the car, Christian is all weird and ominous and says he’s going to take a “detour” and just pulls into a car dealership and says that he’s buying Ana a new car, because her other one got wrecked by Leila, Christian’s crazy ex-sub. Christian proceeds to not really let Ana get a car that SHE wants, and insists that she get a specific make and model, because it’s “safe,” and refuses to let her get any color other than silver or white again because “safety.” Except then the salesman mentions a convertible and somehow Christian lets Ana get it. They leave and go to get lunch at a restaurant by a marina. After lunch, Christian shows Ana his boat, which I swear to god is bigger than my house. They take the boat out and of course have sex on it, because they can’t go anywhere without having sex. And the sex is the same sex they always have except Ana is miraculously more confident in herself because Christian said he loves her, and that makes all your insecurities go away, apparently.
Alright! Let’s get on with it!
So, after they’re done having sex, they start getting ready and stuff because Mac, the guy who helps Christian with the boat, is going to be back soon to help take down the sails and everything. They start doing their gross flirty conversation crap, and Ana calls Christian “Captain.”
“Captain, eh?” he says dryly. “Well, I am master of this vessel.”
I cock my head to one side. “You are master of my heart, Mr. Grey.”
Are you even serious.
WHO EVEN SAYS THAT.
So then Ana starts thinking again, which is always a bad sign because her brain comes up with literally the stupidest things, and she starts thinking about that time long ago when she left Christian, which was, oh right, A FUCKING WEEK AGO. YOU’RE RIDICULOUS, ANA.
Could I ever leave him again–no matter what he did to me? Could I betray him like that? No. I don’t think I could.
IF YOU’RE WITH A GUY WHO ABUSES YOU, YOU SHOULD FUCKING LEAVE HIM. DON’T WORRY ABOUT “BETRAYING” SOMEONE BY LEAVING THEM IF THEY TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT.
This entire book is just one giant ad campaign telling people to stay in abusive relationships because you “love” them and they “love” you and you don’t want to “betray” them and if you “love” them you should stay.
It’s all such bullshit. Dangerous bullshit. This kind of thinking can put people in very dangerous situations.
So they get off the boat and decide to go out to eat. While out at dinner, they start talking about the fact that Christian doesn’t have any friends other than Mrs. Robinson, which is actually really sad, but I guess it doesn’t bother Christian? Then Ana starts worrying that their relationship isn’t “enough” for Christian because they don’t do much BDSM stuff, but when she voices her concerns Christian says she’s being silly and their relationship is fine for him and she shouldn’t worry. He’s actually not a dick about it, which is nice. Half the time he just dismisses all of her concerns and ignores everything she says.
They go back to Christian’s apartment, which is apparently safe now, although they still haven’t caught Leila. Once in the elevator, Christian tells Ana that she’s not allowed out alone, which isn’t the most ridiculous thing, since there’s a crazy girl with a gun who is apparently after Ana, but maybe he could have said it nicer? Like, “I’m concerned for your safety and I want you to have a security guard with you at all times, just until we get this Leila thing figured out.”
But no, he just says “You are not allowed out of here alone. You understand?” He “snaps” it too, he doesn’t even say it nice. It’s like she’s a goddamned teenager and he’s grounding her.
This is his coping mechanism. He’s stressed about Leila, he loves me, and he wants to protect me.
That’s nice and all, but maybe he could be less of a dick about it?
Oh for the love of god and then they start making out in the elevator. STOP IT.
Inside, they meed Taylor, and Ana makes some comment about how when they checked into the hotel they checked in as “Mr. and Mrs. Taylor.” Taylor smiles and says it has a nice ring to it, and suddenly Christian is all pissed off and asks to speak to Ana alone before debriefing Taylor.
“Don’t flirt with the staff, Anastasia,” he scolds.
I open my mouth to defend myself–then close it again, then open it. “I wasn’t flirting, I was being friendly–there’s a difference.”
“Don’t be friendly with the staff or flirt with them. I don’t like it.”
Oh. Good-bye, carefree Christian. “I’m sorry,” I mutter and stare down at my fingers. He hasn’t made me feel like a child all day. Reaching down he cups my chin, pulling my head up to meet his eyes.
“You know how jealous I am,” he whispers.
There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even…
- She was being nice to a guy. Heaven forbid she’s nice to a guy who isn’t Christian. Being nice to guys is the first step to having sex with them, so, ladies, being nice to guys is basically cheating on your boyfriend, according to Christian Grey, who, as we know, is “God’s Gift to Women,” so we should all be very concerned how he feels about these things.
- ANA DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING ARGUE. SHE JUST APOLOGIZES AND LETS IT GO.
- ALSO WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DOES HE MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A CHILD ALL THE TIME. THIS IS THE “IDEAL MAN” SO MANY WOMEN ARE LUSTING AFTER? HE CONSTANTLY TALKS DOWN TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND TREATS HER LIKE A CHILD. HE IS A PILE OF SHIT. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS.
- “You know how jealous I am?” Is that a fucking threat, Christian?
i want to light everything on fireeeee.