Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 11 [Part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Then Christian has Ana basically pretend to play pool so he can watch her playing while she’s half dressed.

Groooosssssss.

When she goes to take a shot, he spanks her. And then he says if she misses, he’ll spank her harder.

I want to vomit on everything.

Of course, she misses, so then he’s going to spank her harder, and this whole thing is just disgusting and I hate everything about it.

He spanks her a bunch, and it hurts but it’s not that bad, and after a bunch of strikes she actually tells him to stop, which is nice. I’m glad she had the courage to do that, I didn’t think she would.

Aaaannnddd now they’re going to have sex.

None of it is really worth reporting. It’s pretty much the exact same sex scene we’ve seen before, only this time it’s on a pool table and it’s “rough,” I guess. The whole thing is pretty boring. They orgasm at almost the same time, with her going a little bit before him. What a shocker.

Afterwards, they go and take a bath.

Ana starts trying to weasel her way out of having a security guard with her all day, even though, again, THERE IS A CRAZY GIRL WITH A GUN WHO CLEARLY HAS A BEEF WITH ANA AND KNOWS WHERE SHE WORKS. Ana wants to have Sawyer drop her off at work and then pick her up. Christian ends up agreeing, on the condition that Ana doesn’t leave work at lunchtime or anything.

I guarantee that Ana will end up leaving work.

The next morning, Ana goes to work, and, of course, gets an email from Christian immediately at the beginning of the day. Because they can’t go 20 minutes without being in contact. You fought so hard to go to work, Ana, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

The email is a reminder that the news about Christian buying the company Ana works for (SIP) is supposed to stay secret for the next 4 weeks, and she has to delete the email as soon as she’s done reading it.

Christian also makes some comment about how he hopes Ana never leaves, and Ana takes this as him asking her to move in with him. She asks him about it, but before Christian responds, Jack comes up to talk to Ana.

Jack asks Ana to come with him to some event in New York on Thursday (it’s currently Monday). Of course, Jack says this in the creepiest way possible, and Ana mentions that his eyes “darken.” Which isn’t ominous or threatening at all. He definitely doesn’t plan to take advantage of her while on this business trip.

Ana agrees, which is really stupid, but it does sound like a great opportunity, so I guess it’s not too bad.

She returns to her email, and Christian apparently DOES want Ana to move in. Surprisingly, Ana thinks it’s too soon, which I agree with completely, but I’m sure Christian will find a way to convince her and she’ll move in with him within a day or two.

Ana asks Christian if they can talk about the whole thing later, and tells him that she’s going to New York. She doesn’t ask him, she tells him, which is good, because she doesn’t need his goddamned permission to do anything, even though this thing that she wants to do might not be a good idea.

Of course, Christian says NO, in capital letters, because he’s a controlling bag of dicks.

This is Ana’s response email:

Christian
You need to get a grip.
I am NOT going to sleep with Jack–not for all the tea in China.
I LOVE you. That’s what happens when people love each other.
They TRUST each other.
I don’t think you are going to SLEEP WITH, SPANK, FUCK, or WHIP anyone else. I have FAITH and TRUST in you.
Please extend the same COURTESY to me.
Ana

harry potter applause

YES. THANK YOU.

Then, Ana gets an email from Mrs. Robinson asking to have lunch.

Apparently Ana’s entire job consists of sending personal acquaintances and never getting anything actually done.

I want her job. I’d be so good at that.

Then, Ana gets a call from Christian, telling her to delete the email she sent him, because she’s a FUCKING IDIOT and sent it from her WORK EMAIL.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT STUPID.

YOUR WORK EMAIL IS BEING MONITORED, YOU DUMBASS.

Christian tells her this, and then immediately hangs up because he’s mad at her for wanting to take what could be a really great opportunity and for calling him out on his bullshit, and apparently when Christian is mad he acts like a fucking child.

OH SHIT BUT THEN ANA CALLS HIM BACK AND SAYS “I am going to New York whether you like it or not,” AND THEN HANGS UP ON HIM.

oooohhhh regular show

BOOOOOMMMM!

Except apparently she “hisses” this. There’s no S’s in that. We’re doing the snake thing again.

YOU CAN’T HISS SHIT THAT DOESN’T HAVE THE LETTER S IN IT.

COME ON GUYS. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

Except THEN, Jack tells Ana not to book the flight to New York, because apparently a “moratorium on all spending has just been implemented” and all expenses have to be approved by someone in senior management.

So basically, Ana wants to take this really awesome opportunity, and Christian says no, and when she says she’s going to do it anyway because IT’S HER FUCKING LIFE, what does Christian do?

HE LITERALLY MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO FUCKING GO.

are you fucking kidding me

Fuck everything. Fuck this entire thing. All of it. Fuck it all. Light it on fire. I’m so fucking done right now, jesus christ.

Ana sends Christian another email that says:

Please tell me you won’t interfere with my work.
I really want to go to this conference.
I shouldn’t have to ask you.

NO. NO YOU SHOULDN’T, ANA. YOU REALLY FUCKING SHOULDN’T.

BUT APPARENTLY CHRISTIAN THINKS HE’S YOUR FUCKING FATHER AND FEELS THE NEED TO CONTROL EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING DO.

FUCK.

THIS.

BOOK.

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