Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 14 [Part 3]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

This is not what I expected. This is bad. Really bad. I gaze at him, trying to understand the implication of what he’s just said. It does explain why we all look the same.

In case you forgot, all of Christian’s submissives had brown hair. I guess everyone with brown hair looks the same?

Then it hits me like a wrecking ball. If he’s a sadist, he really needs all that whipping and caning shit. Oh fuck.

EXCEPT HE STILL DOESN’T “NEED” IT, HE JUST WANTS IT BECAUSE HE’S GOT MENTAL ISSUES THAT HE NEEDS TO WORK ON WITH A LICENSED THERAPIST.

And then Christian starts talking about how he doesn’t “need” it because Ana “fixed” him.

“I told you once before, you have all the power. And now, since you came back, I don’t feel that compulsion, at all.”

Apparently being in love just fixes mental illness. Because that’s totally how it works.

And even though this whole thing is fucked up in all the worst possible ways, Ana decides she still loves Christian and is going to stay.

Ana says she’s tired and wants to go to bed, and Christian is still baffled by the fact that she’s not running away, and she asks him what she can do to convince him that she won’t leave.

“There is one thing you can do.”
“What?” I snap.
“Marry me,” he whispers.
What? Did he really just–
For the second time in less than half an hour my world stops.
Holy fuck.

shocked seth

WHAT

THE

FUCK

shut this the fuck down

 

YOU

HAVE

KNOWN

EACH

OTHER

FOR

FIVE

FUCKING

WEEKS.

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN 6 MONTHS.

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN THREE MONTHS.

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO.

AND YOU KNOW SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES. OF COURSE SHE’LL SAY YES. BECAUSE THAT’S ALL SHE’S GOOD FOR, IS SAYING YES TO CHRISTIAN WHEN HE ASKS HER TO DO INSANE, FUCKED UP THINGS.

Except…

wait…

First, Ana bursts out laughing. Christian is obviously not as amused, and asks her again. This is her response:

“Look, Christian, I’ve known you for about three minutes, and there’s so much more I need to know. I’ve had too much to drink, I’m hungry, I’m tired, and I want to go to bed. I need to consider your proposal just as I considered that contract you gave me. And”–I press my lips together to show my displeasure but also to lighten the mood between us–“that wasn’t the most romantic proposal.”

that was awesome emma watson

FUCK. YES.

BOOM.

“So that’s not a no?”
I sigh. “No, Mr. Grey, it’s not a no, but it’s not a yes either. You’re only doing this because you’re scared, and you don’t trust me.”

FUCKING

BOOM.

YOU TELL ‘EM, STEELE!

who don't need no man

 

“No, I’m doing this because I’ve finally met someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

ACoops is judging you

YOU’VE KNOWN HER FOR LESS THAN TWO MONTHS.

I’VE HAD SCHOOL PROJECTS THAT HAVE LASTED LONGER THAN YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP.

I’VE GOT BEER SITTING IN MY FRIDGE THAT HAS BEEN IN THERE LONGER THAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAS LASTED.

YOU’RE FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

But then he finally lets it go and says he’ll give her time to think about it. Thank god. Except we know that she’ll still say yes, because she’ll always say yes to him, in the end.

Then Christian demands that Ana eat, even though she repeatedly tells him that she’s exhausted and wants to go to bed, but he’s back to being a controlling asshole and won’t let her go to bed without eating, so he makes her some macaroni and cheese.

Christian finally reveals what he and Leila did while alone in the apartment. Apparently they talked and he gave her a bath. That’s just weird, dude. He also gave Leila some of Ana’s clothes to wear. Even weirder. Christian says he cares about her from “one human being to another,” but Ana is still really weirded out and upset by the interaction, which I think is logical.

Ana is about to start crying, so she scrapes the rest of her macaroni and cheese into the garbage and goes to bed. Christian keeps saying “Ana, please,” and Ana finally snaps at him, telling him to stop it and telling him that she’s “tired and emotional” and that she’s going to bed.

Surprisingly, she goes to bed in Christian’s room, not “her” room. I guess she’s not that mad at him if she feels comfortable sleeping next to him. She puts on one of Christian’s T-shirts to sleep in and heads to the bathroom, where she begins to cry.

-End of Chapter Fourteen-

You guys…we just had TWO CHAPTERS IN A ROW where Christian and Ana HAVEN’T HAD SEX.

These two chapters have also probably been two of the best chapters so far. Infuriating, no doubt, but at least there’s an actual plot and actual consequences and some sort-of bad things (except not really) that happen.

I still don’t know how women think Christian Grey is the perfect man. He’s a self-proclaimed sadist. How are so many women willing to just look past that? That’s not something that just goes away. That’s not something that you can fix by loving him. I guess a lot of women just delude themselves into thinking that they could “fix” Christian.

A word of advice: You shouldn’t enter a relationship in the hopes of “fixing” someone. You should enter a relationship and love the person for who they are. You can’t fix anyone but yourself, and it’s exhausting to even try. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to them. Don’t do it. Leave that to therapists and psychiatrists and psychologists, people who are trained to help people deal with mental problems. It’s not your job as a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to solve someone’s problems, your job is to love them for who they are and support them. That’s it.

I’m assuming that we’ll have a lot of bad sex scenes to deal with in chapter 15, seeing as how it’s been nearly 24 hours since Christian and Ana last boned. So stay tuned on Monday to see how many times this book will try and make me vomit!

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