Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 16 [Part 1]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Okay I’m going to try and make this quick because I REALLY REALLY WANT to get to the meat of this chapter, which I’m sure will be really gross and disturbing.

RECAP: So Ana cries and Christian’s nice to her and then they go to sleep. Ana wakes up, gets orange juice, Christian has a nightmare and wakes up. They talk about his past. We don’t really learn anything new. They go to sleep. Ana wakes up late, is 15 minutes late for work, and Jack is pissed. Ana continues to do NOTHING at work other than email Christian because she’s a piece of shit employee, and then she’s constantly confused by Jack being mad at her. Ana asks Christian to pick her up at 6:30. At 6:15, only Ana and Jack are left in the office. Ana goes to the kitchen to eat some food because she hasn’t eaten all day. Jack corners her in the kitchen and starts saying REALLY creepy shit and licks his lips. The final line of the chapter is “Now…are you going to be a good girl and listen very carefully to what I say?”

SO.

I don’t know how far this chapter is going to go or what exactly is going to happen, but I think there should be a trigger warning on this.

If you are triggered by scenes involving abuse, assault (sexual or otherwise), rape (implied), you may not want to read this chapter of Liveblogs.

Frankly, this whole series should have a trigger warning like that, but whatever.

OKAY. SO.

HERE WE GO.

-Chapter Sixteen-

Jack’s eyes flash the darkest blue, and he sneers as he casts a leering look down my body.

I…I think Ana is confused about how eyes work. If someone’s eyes are flashing, you may be talking to a robot. Or a car with it’s emergency lights on. I know, I know, she’s being hyperbolic or whatever. She’s exaggerating. Jack’s eyes probably did change color, or at least his pupils probably expanded, so his eyes may in fact look darker, and the verb “flash” was used to pretty up the sentence. I know E.L. isn’t the only one guilty of this, but I just love giving her a hard time.

Also, wouldn’t the darkest blue just be…black? Or almost black?

Anyway.

Fear chokes me.What is this? What does he want?

…he just “cast a leering look down your body,” what the fuck do you THINK he wants. C’mon, Ana, you’re not that stupid. We both know you’re not actually that stupid.

We also learn that apparently Ana has taken a self-defense class.

Please, god, let Ana be a badass in this chapter.

I will be so happy if Ana murders Jack in the fucking balls. Omg.

“Jack, now might not be a good time for this. Your cab is due in ten minutes, and I need to give you all your documents.” My voice is quiet but hoarse, betraying me.

I know she’s trying to keep him calm, and that’s probably smart, but…just kick him in the balls. Jab the heel of your hand up into his nose to break it, knee him in the balls, poke him in the eyes if you need to, and get the fuck out of there.

He smiles, and it’s a despotic fuck-you smile that finally touches his eyes.

I don’t…what? What is a “despotic fuck-you smile?” Is that something I should know? If you’re gonna describe something, especially a facial expression, it helps to describe it in a way that makes sense. Comparing it to something physical usually helps, like I’ve described a person’s smile as a tear opening up in a pillow case. Give us something we can actually relate to, because I’ve never seen a “despotic fuck-you smile” and I have no idea what that even means. I’m assuming it’s bad and scary, but that doesn’t help anything.

Ana suggests that if Jack wants to air his grievances with her, they should involve HR.

“We don’t need HR to overmanage this situation Ana,” he sneers. “When I hired you, I thought you would be a hard worker. I thought you had potential. But now, I don’t know. You’ve become distracted and sloppy. And I wondered…is it your boyfriend who’s leading you astray?” He says boyfriend with chilling contempt.

Okay, so Jack starts off with reasonable complaints, that Ana’s become sloppy and distracted, that is perfectly and 100% true.

But his logic is “Oh, you’re a bad employee? SEXUAL ASSAULT WILL FIX YOU.”

Gross, dude. Majorly gross.

“I decided to check through your e-mail account to see if I could find any clues. And you know what I found, Ana? What was out of place? The only personal e-mails in your account were to your hot-shot boyfriend.”

THIS IS WHY IT’S REALLY FUCKING STUPID TO USE YOUR WORK EMAIL FOR THINGS THAT AREN’T RELATED TO WORK.

ANA YOU ARE STUPID. CHRISTIAN WAS BEING PERFECTLY REASONABLE WHEN HE TOLD YOU TO USE YOUR BLACKBERRY TO EMAIL HIM.

“And I got to thinking…where are the e-mails from him? There are none. Nada. Nothing. So what’s going on, Ana? How come his e-mails to you aren’t on our system? Are you some company spy, planted in here by Grey’s organization? Is that what this is?”

idk therefore aliens

“My employee isn’t doing her job..MUST CHECK HER EMAIL. Hmm, I notice weird things about this email account…MUST BE A SPY. SEXUAL ASSAULT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.”

Jack you are literally the most illogical fucking creepy weirdo I have ever encountered.

And now we know why he’s named after Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!

Some subliminal pheromone that Jack is exuding has me on high alert. This man is angry, volatile, and totally unpredictable. I try to reason with him.

What.

“I FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE IN THIS SITUATION. JACK MUST BE GIVING OFF A MYSTERIOUS CHEMICAL OR SOMETHING. IT’S DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE HE’S STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ME OR ‘LEERING’ AT MY BODY. NOPE. DEFINITELY PHEROMONES.”

really adam levine

 

Seriously, Ana. Get your shit together. You’re feeling threatened for a reason. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

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