Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 17 [Part 2]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Elizabeth shakes Ana’s hand and gives her the job description to look over, and I guess that’s all it takes, suddenly Ana is a commissioning editor now, because that’s how reality works.

“I’m glad he’s gone,” [Elizabeth] whispers and a haunted look crosses her face.

Oh shit. That’s creepy.

Ana goes back to her desk and immediately calls Christian. She tells him about the job, and asks if Christian had anything to do with it.  Christian says he didn’t, and that he wouldn’t have given her Jack’s job anyway because she’s only been there for a week. Ana asks him again later, just to double check that he had nothing to do with it.

He is silent for a moment, and then he says in a low menacing voice. “Do you doubt me? It angers me that you do.”

What the fuck, Christian, are you fucking Zeus?

DOST THOU DARE BESMIRCH MINE OWN HONOUR?! HOW DARE THEE!

one million years dungeon

[now all I can picture is Lemongrab from Adventure TIme as Christian Grey in the 50 Shades movie…please someone make that a thing that happens.]

Ana apologizes, even though she shouldn’t have, because she just wanted to make sure that he didn’t interfere with her job the way he has in the past, but whatever.

Christian tells her to contact him if she needs anything. He tells her this like 14 times, and then reminds her to use her blackberry to email him. They finally, finally hang up.

Ana’s day goes by quickly, and she finds out she has a meeting with the president and vice-president of the company. She also was supposed to have coffee with Mia. And then she gets a call that Ethan is in reception waiting for her.

She goes down to see what Ethan wants.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.
He frowns. “Everything’s fine, Ana. I just wanted to see you. I’ve not heard from you in awhile, and I wanted to check how Mr. Mogul was treating you.”

DOES NO ONE USE FUCKING PHONES ANYMORE. JESUS.

“Ana, I wanted to know how you were, but instead of CALLING YOU LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON, I showed up unannounced at your work because I apparently have no concept of how jobs function.”

What the fuck is WRONG with you people?!

Also, Ethan, it’s been like 3 days. That’s not “awhile.” It’s not even a week. Three. Days.

And to answer your question about how Christian is treating her…it’s bad. Bad is how he’s treating her. Because he’s an abusive pile of shit person.

[cough cough ANA SHOULD DATE ETHAN HE’S A BABE cough]

Ana then figures that she’ll kill two birds with one stone and asks Ethan to take Mia out for lunch so Ana can go to her meeting. Ugh. So now Ethan is going to start dating a member of Christian’s family too. Awesome. Ethan should be dating Ana. ANYONE should be dating Ana, really, anyone but Christian.

So Mia shows up and she’s a babe and Ethan’s a babe so they go out to lunch and leave Ana behind.

Ana briefly gets nervous about what Christian’s reaction will be to Mia dating, but she dismisses it.

Mia is a grown woman and Christian can be reasonable, can’t he?

NOPE. CHRISTIAN CAN’T BE REASONABLE. CLEARLY YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A DIFFERENT CHRISTIAN, BECAUSE I THINK I CAN COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES HE’S BEEN REASONABLE ON ONE HAND.

The meeting goes well, and Ana gets back to her office and finds that Christian has sent her flowers. That’s like the first nice thing he’s done for her this whole book.

Ana’s done with work and she absentmindedly starts thinking about what to get Christian for his birthday. Apparently she already knows what she’s giving him, but wants to give it to him tonight before they go meet Flynn? She then sees a store selling weird touristy shit and she gets “inspired.” I don’t know what that’s about.

On the way to see Dr. Flynn, Ana gives Christian his present, which is in a small, black gift box. She makes him promise not to open it until Saturday? Weird.

The room is understated: pale green with two dark green couches facing two leather winged chairs, and it has the atmosphere of a gentlemen’s club.

what tyra

A strip club. Christian’s therapist’s office has the atmosphere of a strip club. That’s…alarming.

They start talking a little bit, and then Dr. Flynn asks Ana if she’d be more comfortable if Christian left them alone for a little while. Christian is obviously not happy about this, but leaves anyway. Once he’s out of the room, Ana immediately relaxes.

“He intimidates you?”
“Yes. But not as much as he used to.” I feel disloyal but it’s the truth.

FUN FACT: YOU SHOULDN’T BE DATING SOMEONE WHO SCARES YOU OR INTIMIDATES YOU. THAT’S MAYBE NOT THE BEST IDEA. MAYBE.

They start talking, and Flynn uses a bunch of big fancy words to basically explain that Christian is fucked up but is getting better and all that junk. Ana tells Flynn about how she’s worried that she’s not enough for Christian, but Flynn assures her that that isn’t the case, because what Ana is asking Christian to do isn’t unreasonable by any means.

“Christian recognizes that and has acted accordingly. He’s not insane.”

Ummmm You might want to rethink your words, Flynn. Christian is very much insane. He’s also an asshole, but I don’t think being an asshole is listed anywhere in the DSM-V.

Flynn reassures Ana some more, and then when Ana says something about how she’s not as attractive as Christian, Flynn is surprised by it. Christian comes back in to tell them that their time is up. Flynn asks Ana if she has any more questions, and when she says she does not, Flynn suggests that they both come back again some time.

Ana and Christian get in the car. Ana gets a call from José, who says he’s dropping the pictures off between 5 and 6 and will be free to hang out after that. Ana tells him that he’s welcome to stay at Christian’s place, and José eventually says okay. Apparently José is now also picking up Ana from work? Oh, Christian will be thrilled about that.

“You don’t think he’ll try anything?”
“No!” My tone is exasperated–but I refrain from rolling my eyes.
“Okay,” Christian holds his hands up in defeat. “You hang out with your friend, and I’ll see you later in the evening.”

benji does not want

That was…shocking. Christian is being reasonable, wtf.

Ana asks to drive, since it’s her car anyway, and after putting up a little bit of a fight, Christian agrees. Of course, the whole time she’s driving, Christian is ridiculous and keeps yelling at her to focus and to keep her eyes on the road, even when she’s driving just fine. Finally, Ana pulls over in a no parking zone and gets out of the car.

“I’ve had it with you barking orders. Either you drive or you shut up about my driving!”
“Anastasia, get back in the car before we get a ticket.”
“No.”

And then Christian finally says that he’ll drive? Because apparently he can’t handle not yelling at Ana constantly, that’s just asking too much of him.

And then suddenly they’re not in a fight anymore and they’re kissing? What just happened. What did I miss. They called each other frustrating and then Christian said “Maybe we’re meant for each other, then,” and now they’re kissing and I am very confused.

They start driving again, and Christian grills Ana about what she and Flynn talked about. She summarizes it for him and it’s all very boring and we don’t really learn anything new, as always.

Ana asks where they’re going.

“Surprise,” he says and smiles mysteriously.

you just know he's gonna kill you

Seriously. Get the fuck out of the car right now, Ana. He’s taking you to the murder spot. You’re going to be murdered. I don’t think you realize how murdered you are about to be. Seriously. Get the fuck out of there, bro.

-End of Chapter Seventeen-

Apparently Friday is Murder Day!

Is…is it bad that I almost hope I’m right about the murder? I really, really want to be right about the murder. Having one of the main characters get murdered would almost, almost, redeem this book. Almost.

See you Friday!

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4 thoughts on “Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 17 [Part 2]

  1. Christian saying that he wouldn’t get Ana the job because she’s only been there a week actually made me respect him a little. Not as a person or a boyfriend or a decent human being, but as a businessman who knows what the hell he’s doing (maybe) and/or has the integrity not to do something completely and totally stupid for his 12-year-old girlfriend. Even though we still don’t know what he does.

  2. If that’s how easy it is to get into publishing I guess it explains how this trash made it into print ;0) I’ve only made it this far because your blog is hysterical, way more compelling than the books.

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