Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 22 [Part 3]

[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]

Grace turns slowly to face Christian and a tense silence settles like a thick blanket over us as Christian and Grace stare at each other. After a beat, Grace speaks.
“Ana, before I hand him over to you, would you mind giving me a minute or two alone with my son?”

Oh man, Grace is going to be SO PISSED.

Ana leaves them alone, of course, but she listens by the door so we can find out what Grace says to Christian.

Grace asks Christian how long it went on, and how old he was at the time and what-not. Ros finds Ana by the door, and asks if she’s okay. Ana says she’s fine, and Ros leaves to have a cigarette. Ana leaves, apparently no longer interested in what Grace is saying to Christian, and makes her way up to Christian’s childhood bedroom, because…? I have no idea. I guess she wants to be alone, which makes sense.

Ana flops down on Christian’s old bed and starts doing the stupid thinking thing again, and we’re all subjected to hear her thoughts on the matter, thoughts which I frankly do not care about. I don’t care what Ana thinks about the situation. I know what Ana thinks about the situation. I could have told you like 100 pages ago what Ana would think about this situation. It’s nothing new, it’s nothing interesting.

She thinks about how Christian used to be really fucked up but now he’s better (lol nope) and how he used to be into BDSM because that came from his “place of darkness”, which is such bullshit I don’t even know where to begin. BDSM doesn’t come from darkness. It comes from normal, completely sane people’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Stop associating BDSM with Christian’s mental illness. BDSM is not a mental illness. It’s not a side-effect of having a fucked up past. BDSM happens between two consenting adults who, for whatever reason, enjoy playing with the power dynamic of their relationship. It’s perfectly normal, perfectly safe (when practiced correctly), and isn’t some “dark” thing.

Ana gets off the bed and looks at all the pictures Christian had up on his bulletin board from his youth. Ana focuses particularly on the picture of Christian’s birthmother, and Ana notices that she really looks nothing like the birthmother. I guess this is some kind of important revelation or something. I don’t know.

Ana leaves the room, and runs into Christian on the stairs. Christian informs Ana that Grace is “pretty fucking mad” at Christian. I’m not really sure why she’s mad at Christian, considering the fact that he was taken advantage of as a teenager by a sexual predator…I mean, I guess he did continue that relationship into his 20’s, when he was (theoretically) old enough to realize how fucked up the situation was? Idk. This whole situation is probably pretty fucking weird for Grace to deal with.

Christian tells Ana that his relationship, both personal and business, with Elena is over with. He’s handing over the salon business to Elena and that’s the end of it. So that’s good. Christian says he wants to return to the party, and says he “might even get drunk.”

They go back to the party.

Cut to the end of the party, where they’re saying goodnight to everyone. Christian and Ana go outside because Christian wants to show Ana something, I guess. Ana says she’d like to go to Church tomorrow, because she prayed for him to come back safe and he did. Since when is Ana religious?

They start talking about the house, and Christian says he’s already bought it, and they’re going to talk to Elliot about finding a good architect who can remodel the house to make it more sustainable or whatever.

They go out to the boathouse, which is where Christian spanked Ana the last time they were over at his parents’ place. If I recall, he spanked her for bidding on something with the money that he gave her for her car, which is a really stupid reason to be mad at her and spank her, but everything Christian does is stupid, so whatever.

The boathouse is filled with flowers. I guess this is Christian’s romantic proposal or whatever. It’s supposed to be romantic, I assume, although to me it just kind of seems…generic. And boring. Woo you gave her flowers, how original.

Christian gets down on one knee and produces a ring and asks Ana to marry him and she starts crying all over the place and says yes. Even though she’s already said yes. Ughhh I don’t care at alllll.

I know deep down I will always be his, and he will always be mine. We’ve come so far together, we have so far to go, but we are made for each other. We are meant to be.


Woop-de-doo. You’ve known each other for literally 2 fucking months. How the FUCK do you “know” that you’re meant to be. You barely fucking know the guy. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but you should probably at least KNOW the person you’re going to marry for longer than TWO FUCKING MONTHS before you marry them. Maybe.

There’s a fancy little squiggly line on the page.

And then…

We cut to a scene of some guy smoking in the dark in a car and drinking cheap bourbon?

The helicopter had been a rash and bold move. One of the most exhilarating things he’d ever done in his life. But to no avail. He rolls his eyes ironically. Who would have thought the son-of-a-bitch could actually fly the fucker?

…Okay so Mysterious Cigarette Guy is the one behind the helicopter shenanigans…

It had been the same all his life. People constantly underestimating him–just a man who reads books. Fuck that! A man with a photographic memory who reads books.

Um…good for you?

So it turns out that this “mysterious” guy is Jack Hyde. He even references the incident with Ana that ended with Christian and Taylor beating the shit out of him.

He’ll stay, watch, and wait. He takes another toke of his Marlboro red. His chance will come. His chance will come soon.

-End of Chapter Twenty-Two-

End of Fifty Shades Darker-

That’s all, folks!

We’re 2/3 of the way done with this shit series.

While the writing may have gotten marginally better, the actual material has gotten far more vomit-worthy. I can’t wait to see what Book 3 has in store for us…

I may or may not post a Reflections post about this book. If I do, expect it on Friday.

I will start Fifty Shades Freed on Monday.

…still can’t believe I’ve made it all the way through two of these books. I think I deserve a bottle of wine.

PS: Thank you to everyone who’s been commenting and liking these posts recently! I appreciate your comments so much, you guys, you have no idea. I have the best readers in the universe, I swear to god.


2 thoughts on “Caitlin Liveblogs Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter 22 [Part 3]

  1. Musing: Maybe Christian blames Ana all the time because he was taught that way? Grace is blaming the victim in this case, and Christian blames Ana after she was almost sexually assaulted. Maybe this was how Christian was raised to respond to those smacked with misfortune, similar to rich people blaming those in poverty for their misfortune….?

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