[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
Sorry I’ve been bad about posting lately! I’ve been having a really busy week at both of my jobs (tutoring is busy and it’s parent observation week at the studio I teach dance at so THAT’S FUN HAH HAH HAH), so I’ve been bad at blogging.
I might have to cut posts down to twice a week or something. We’ll see.
RECAP: So Chapter 1 was a confusing pile of crap, filled with flashbacks and flashforwards and flashsideways and backways and upways. The chapter opens on a beach on the Mediterranean, where Ana and Christian have gone for their honeymoon, because the book largely skips their entire fucking wedding. The two aren’t staying in a resort, oh no, they’re too rich for that, and are instead staying on their own fucking yacht that’s probably twice the size of my house. That’s actually probably a conservative estimate. While lying on the beach, Ana drifts off to sleep, and we are treated to our first flashback. We go back to the scene immediately after Christian proposed in the boathouse at the end of book 2, and they’re discussing the wedding. Flash back to the beach. Christian puts sunscreen on Ana in the grossest way possible. Christian isn’t happy that Ana is wearing a bikini…that he bought for her…at the beach…because apparently she’s got too much skin showing. Because in case you forgot what a sexist piece of shit Christian is, he wanted to remind you within the first few pages of the first chapter. They go in the water, and Ana wants to have sex, but Christian *gasp* refuses, and swims off. To…retaliate? I guess? against Christian, Ana decides to go back to the beach and lie down with her top off, on her stomach, so no one can see her boobs anyway, and besides it’s a topless beach so whatever? She falls asleep. Flash back to the actual wedding/reception. Ana talks to Kate, dances with people, blah blah blah. Then Christian demands that they leave the reception early, because he’s a controlling fuckbag who doesn’t like when Ana spends time with anyone but him. They leave for the airport. They get on Christian’s private jet, which HAS A FUCKING BEDROOM ON IT, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, they have sex on the plane. Flash forward. Christian comes back and is REALLY pissed off at Ana, because in her sleep, Ana has rolled onto her back, *gasp* exposing herself.
Let’s see how infuriating this new chapter is!
His eyes blaze with fury. He reaches down, scoops up my bikini top from his sun lounger and tosses it at me.
“Put this on!” he hisses.
“Christian, no one is looking.”
“Trust me. They’re looking. I’m sure Taylor and the security crew are enjoying the show!” he snarls.
So what. They’re looking at her nipples. People are literally looking at your nipples RIGHT NOW, Christian. You don’t see Ana freaking out.
Ana isn’t your fucking property, Christian. She gets to decide who sees her boobs and where and when. Not you. Her body is not yours to cover up. If it bothers you, communicate that to her in an open, honest, POLITE way, have an HONEST DISCUSSION with her about it, and maybe she’ll agree to keep herself covered up. HOWEVER, if she wants to take her top off in a public place and it’s not against the law there (and it really shouldn’t be against the law anywhere but whatever), SHE IS PERFECTLY ALLOWED TO DO THAT.
WHO GIVES A SHIT IF HER BOOBS ARE OUT.
LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE ON THE BEACH HAS THEIR BOOBS OUT.
WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT ANA’S BOOBS THAT EVERYONE HAS TO STARE AT THEM.
This is so infuriating. Christian is such a piece of shit.
So then Christian says that the paparazzi could have gotten a picture of her, and WHOOP DI DOO, who gives a shit. Paparazzi are shitty people, and the people that buy their pictures are also shitty people.
ALSO why are the paparazzi following Christian around? I mean, I don’t think the paparazzi followed Steve Jobs and his wife around, or Bill Gates or anyone. No one gives a shit about super rich asshole CEOs or their topless wives. Stop being so full of yourself, Christian.
Every other woman on the beach is topless–it’s not that big of a crime. In fact I look odd with my top on. I sigh inwardly, my spirits sinking. I thought Christian would see the funny side…
CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE CHRISTIAN IS. Maybe if you had spent more time talking to him instead of fucking him before you got married, you would have known how big of a dickwhistle he is.
So they start heading back to the boat, which they need to ride a jet ski to get to, and Christian refuses to even look at Ana the whole time.
Like…okay. I get it. You’re mad at Ana. That was a stupid thing of her to do, because she should have known how mad you would get. HOWEVER that doesn’t give you an excuse to be such a blatant asshole.
So they go riding on the jetski, and Ana kisses Christian’s back, and I guess that kind of fixes some of it? Because now he’s not as mad anymore, and they go riding out way past their boat. Finally they return to the boat, and a server of some kind comes and asks if they want anything to drink.
“Would you like a drink?” he asks me.
“Do I need one?”
He cocks his head to one side. “Why would you say that?” His voice is soft.
“You know why.”
He frowns as if weighing something in his mind.
Oh, what is he thinking?
“Two gin and tonics, please. And some nuts and olives,” he says to the steward, who nods and quickly vanishes.
Please tell me Ana isn’t getting liquored up to go have sex…
“You think I’m going to punish you?” Christian’s voice is silky.
“Do you want to?”
“I’ll think of something. Maybe when you’ve had your drink.”
NOPE. IT’S WAY WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. CHRISTIAN IS GETTING ANA LIQUORED UP SO HE CAN GO DO KINKY SHIT WITH HER THAT SHE WOULDN’T NORMALLY AGREE TO.
I’M SORRY. THAT IS REALLY, REALLY FUCKED UP.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE GETS GIRLS REALLY DRUNK SO THEY CAN HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
“But they’re married! And she knows what’s coming, she could say no if she wanted to!”
A: It’s still rape if they’re married. Rape happens whenever the sex is non-consensual. It doesn’t matter if the victim is married to the rapist or not.
B: She doesn’t know what’s coming, actually, and Christian should know better than to punish Ana because typically it ends up REALLY upsetting Ana.
C: She’s told him that she doesn’t like punishment. He’s agreed that they don’t have to do that. Yet…this discussion is happening. Some might say that she’s already said no, and he hasn’t really listened. ALSO, Ana has been manipulated and bullied and SCARED OUT OF HER MIND so much that she now thinks that she has to endure these things just to keep Christian happy, because he is ABUSIVE. So He’s created an environment where it’s scary and potentially very dangerous for her to say no. Ergo, even if she doesn’t say no, it’s still not really consensual, because it’s not consent if she’s too scared to say no.
In other news…
Fuck this book. Fuck it all the way into space.