[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
Man, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a 4-part chapter. Anyway.
“Please–don’t tell me you have interrupted your day after three weeks away to come over here and fight with me about my name.” I am not a freaking asset!
omg my precious little baby Ana is growing up! She’s actually thinking argumentative thoughts and saying argumentative things! Maybe she’ll actually stick to her guns this time!
Too bad she didn’t say that out loud, though. Someone needs to call Christian out on that. Your wife isn’t one of your goddamned “assets,” you giant island of wangs.
He shifts and crosses his legs. “Not exactly a fight. No.”
Before he can explain what the fuck that means, Ana’s secretary interrupts them to bring Christian some coffee. She then leaves.
“Now, Ms. Steele, where were we?”
“You were rudely interrupting my work day to fight with me about my name.”
BOOM! SHOTS FIRED! Tiny, weak shots, probably from a nerf gun, but STILL! SHOTS! SHOTS HAVE BEEN FIRED IN CHRISTIAN’S GENERAL DIRECTION!
Apparently Christian is surprised by the “vehemence” in Ana’s voice. He’s probably not used to thinking of women as people, and isn’t used to women talking back to him, since objects don’t talk back.
“I like to make the odd improptu visit. It keeps management on their toes, wives in their place. You know.” He shrugs, his mouth set in an arrogant line.
God I wish I could punch Christian in the face. How do so many women think he’s the best? He is the actual worst. This isn’t cute or charming or attractive. This is bullshit in its purest form.
Thankfully, Ana is as upset by that statement as I am. Or at least she thinks angry thoughts about it, which I suppose is better than nothing.
“Are you ashamed of me?” he asks, his voice deceptively soft.
UGHH THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, DOUCHEBAG. NOT EVERYTHING IS FUCKING ABOUT YOU. STOP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
Okay, I get it, he’s had a rough past, but if he’s having self-esteem issues why the fuck is he being so scarily aggressive about it? Shouldn’t he have talked about this kind of overreaction with his therapist before? Shouldn’t he know better than to FLIP THE FUCK OUT like this? I know he’s had a lot of bullshit in his life, but that’s no excuse to act like a fucking psycho without letting your wife tell you her side of the story first.
I’ve hurt his feelings. Oh no…he’s the last person I want to hurt. I have to make him see my logic. I have to explain my reasoning for my decision.
FUCK HIS FEELINGS. HE NEEDS TO LEARN THAT NOT EVERYTHING IS FUCKING ABOUT HIM.
Also, I say again…YOU SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING GOT MARRIED, YOU HORRIBLE TWAT-VOLCANOES.
“Why is it so important to you?” I ask, desperately trying to hold on to my fraying temper.
“I want everyone to know that you’re mine.”
THEN FUCKING PEE ON HER, IF IT’S THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU. JESUS CHRIST.
Ana tries to say that she is his, and shows him her wedding ring to prove it, but he says it’s not enough. She gets offended, of course. He tries to explain that that wasn’t what he meant, but he doesn’t do a very good job of it.
“I want your world to begin and end with me,” he says, his expression raw.
THAT’S NOT HOW MARRIAGE WORKS. THAT’S NOT WHAT LOVE IS. YOU’RE A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH.
Love isn’t about not being able to live without someone, it’s about being with someone who makes your life better, fuller, happier. If they left, you’d survive, because you are a whole, complete human being with your own thoughts and feelings and dreams, but, for awhile at least, you would feel somehow less, like there was less color in the world.
Christian wants to be the ONLY thing that Ana cares about, the ONLY thing that she thinks about. And that is the classic behavior of someone who is abusive. Someone who is emotionally abusive doesn’t want you to care about other things. They will isolate you from your friends and family, and try to prevent you from doing something you want to do. They interrupt you while you are at work or at school or anywhere else where you’re not with them, because they need you to be thinking about them at all times. They want to be the most important part of your life, because that makes it harder for you to escape the situation. They want to control every aspect of your life.
Christian isn’t physically abusive (typically), but lord almighty is he a textbook case of an emotional abuser.
He’s also sexually abusive…but we’ll talk about that another time.
Of course, Ana does not share my reaction to Christian’s statement.
“It does,” I say without guile, because it’s the truth.
Ugh. Vomit. You’re both horrible.
“I’m just trying to establish a career, and I don’t want to trade on your name. I have to do something, Christian. I can’t stay imprisoned at Escala or the new house with nothing to do. I’ll go crazy. I’ll suffocate. I’ve always worked, and I enjoy this. This is my dream job; it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But doing this doesn’t mean I love you less. You are the world to me.”
Okay, that was a decent speech, those are good points to make. Does Christian pay attention to her logical arguments? No, of course not.
“I suffocate you?” His voice is bleak, and it’s an echo of a question he’s asked me before.
UUGHHHH IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, CHRISTIAN. FUCKING STOP IT WITH THE GODDAMNED PITY PARTIES.
Ana tries to explain how that’s not the case, but then somehow Christian decides to derail the conversation entirely by asking if Ana wants to know why she got this job. Oh good.
“The management here gave you Hyde’s job to babysit. They didn’t want the expense of hiring a senior executive when the company was mid-sale. They had no idea what the new owner would do with it once it passed into his ownership, and wisely, they didn’t want an expensive redundancy. So they gave you Hyde’s job to caretake until the new owner […] namely me, took over.”
So…she only has this job because of Christian. So basically what we’re saying is that Christian literally controls her whole life. That’s fucking bullshit.
Ana is equally pissed off about this, but Christian
belittles assuages her worries by saying that she’s “risen to the challenge” and has done “very well.” That’s nice, but that doesn’t change the fact that her ass would have been straight-up fired if it weren’t for Christian. It’s also still not cool that he bought the company that she worked for specifically so he could keep better tabs on her, because that’s fucking insane.
Christian starts saying that he doesn’t want to suffocate Ana.
“I don’t want to put you in a gilded cage. Well…” he pauses, his face darkening. “Well, the rational part of me doesn’t.”
There’s…there’s a rational part of you, Christian? Since when?
“So one of the reasons I’m here–apart from dealing with my errant wife,” he says, narrowing his eyes, “is to discuss what I am going to do with this company.”
SHE’S NOT FUCKING ERRANT. SHE JUST DOESN’T WANT TO CHANGE HER NAME, YOU DICK-BAT. STOP IT. STOP ACTING LIKE SHE’S DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
“I’m renaming the company–to Grey Publishing.”
…Ana why are you surprised? Christian likes to show people that he owns things by plastering his name all over everything. It’s the rich bastard’s way of pissing in a circle around things that he likes. Maybe if you had waited longer than 4 months before marrying the guy you would know this and wouldn’t be so surprised right now.
“And in a year’s time, it will be yours.”
My mouth drops open once more–wider this time.
“This is my wedding present to you.”
“So, do I need to change the name to Steele Publishing?”
He’s serious. Holy fuck.
And here I thought Christian was a brilliant businessman. Pretty sure brilliant businessmen don’t just throw ownership at someone who clearly doesn’t want it. Pretty sure letting Ana run anything is a bad fucking idea. What kind of crazy-ass wedding present is this? He didn’t even fucking ASK HER about it! He’s just like SURPRISE HERE’S A COMPANY YOU HAVE TO RUN LOL BYYYYEEEE! Are you serious? That’s actually insane. What’s even the point of that. What is even happening right now.
This chapter is making me lose my mind. I swear to god. I don’t even know who I am anymore, I feel like I’m just a being made entirely of rage.