[disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifs used in this post. If you see a gif that you created and would either like credit for it or would like it taken down, please let me know.]
IMPORTANT: I’m putting a trigger-warning on this one, because there is some stuff that implies rape, and some blatant glorification of abuse, and I don’t want anyone to read this post and get caught unaware by anything. If you are sensitive to mentions of rape or abuse, you might want to skip over this post…although to be honest you should skip over this entire book.
So I know it’s Tuesday, and I said I’d be posting on Mondays, buuut hey! At least it’s a post that’s happening less than a month after the last one! So that’s something, right?
RECAP: So the last chapter started off with a typical day in the Grey household. They wake up, they have sex, Christian has to force Ana to eat breakfast, you know, the usual bullshit. Christian mentions that he’s got a business trip to New York later this week, and he asks Ana to go, but Ana says no because she doesn’t want to take time off work. Then, Ana randomly mentions the gun she found in Christian’s desk, and we find out that A) it’s Leila’s, and B) Ana knows a lot about guns while Christian knows actual nothing, and refuses to learn. The two of them go to work, and they sent sexy (and exceedingly gross) emails to each other, like the professional business-people they are. We skip ahead to Christian already being in NY, and Ana making plans to go out with Kate. Plans which Christian doesn’t like, because he wants to lock Ana away in a tiny little cage and never let her go anywhere with anyone. Ana agrees to just drink with Kate at the apartment…except she IMMEDIATELY forgets that plan as soon as she sees
her lover Kate. Ana brings some security guards with them to the bar, where “I’ll just have one drink” turns into several drinks. Kate tells Ana a bunch of stuff that Christian hasn’t told her about the whole Jack Hyde business. They finally leave the bar, and Ana starts talking about how lucky she is to be with Christian, and she’s just so brainwashed I can’t even handle it. Ana checks her phone, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW Christian’s mad at her. She texts him before getting back to the apartment. Back at the apartment, we find out that there was an intruder, but one of the security team apprehended him, and OH GOSH it’s Jack Hyde.
Time to see how frustrating this chapter is going to be!
We find out that Jack Hyde isn’t dead (of course not), but he’s knocked out pretty good. Ana asks Ryan (the security dude) a bunch of questions, like was Hyde alone (which he was, obviously), and how he got in (through the service elevator, apparently). Apparently Ryan let Hyde in after recognizing the dude’s face? And the other security people are…less than pleased with his recklessness. But, I mean, Ana wasn’t there, and I guess Ryan put Mrs. Jones (the housekeeper) in the “panic room” (because Christian literally has an impenetrable vault in his apartment, because he’s a rich fucking psychopath), sooo it wasn’t as reckless as it could have been?
They need to tie him up, and Ana mentions that she has some cable ties, and she’s immediately embarrassed once she says it, even though literally NO ONE CARES. Also literally everyone who works for Christian probably knows about his…passions. For fucks sake, Mrs. Jones CLEANS THE BUTT PLUGS FOR HIM. Sooo…idk man, Ana’s freaking out over nothing, but she thinks she’s being “audacious.” Idk on what planet she’s EVER been considered audacious, but whatever.
We find out that Hyde had a gun. Woohoo. This is literally THE MOST BORING FUCKING CHAPTER EVER. HOW DO YOU MAKE A CHAPTER BORING WHEN YOU JUST FOUND A DUDE IN YOUR GODDAMNED HOUSE. LIKE, YOU ACTIVELY HAVE TO TRY TO MAKE IT BORING. THIS LEVEL OF BORINGNESS HAD TO TAKE A LOT OF EFFORT, THAT’S HOW BAD IT IS.
Oh, gross, they found duct tape on Hyde. I can only assume he meant to use it on a person…probably Ana…probably so he could sexually assault her like he always wanted to. That’s really upsetting and really gross. Bleh.
Ana instructs the security people to call the Police, even though Christian is always weird and never wants to call the police for no reason? Idk what his problem is. But he’s not there, so it’s Ana’s call, and Ana makes the right decision (…at least in my opinion).
We cut to a new scene where Ana is being questioned by the police. Apparently the Police already know that Hyde is a bad dude? Idk. They question people, and then Ana is tired and goes to bed.
She wakes up when it’s light out, and SURPRISE she’s got a hangover. But ACTUAL SURPRISE Christian is back, and is sitting in the bedroom watching Ana sleep, like the goddamned creep he is. Also he’s drinking whiskey or brandy or something. I guess he’s a classy creep.
OH AND WHAT A SHOCKER. HE’S MAD. AT ANA.
NOT MAD THAT SOMEONE BROKE INTO HIS APARTMENT WITH THE (PROBABLE) INTENTION OF HARMING HIS WIFE.
HE’S MAD AT HIS WIFE.
FOR GOING OUT WITH HER FRIEND. AN ACTIVITY THAT MAY HAVE ACTUALLY SAVED HER A LOT OF PAIN AND PROBLEMS.
Ana tries to apologize for going out, but when she doesn’t mean it, Christian is all “Why say it then?” and Ana is all “Because I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
I think he has spent more time mad at Ana than he’s spent being happy with her since they’ve been married. Since they met, actually. Can someone explain to me how he’s the ideal man? Please? Because he’s actually just a fucking nightmare. I don’t understand anything.
“Don’t be so cold.”
His eyebrows rise in surprise once more. “Anastasia, cold is not what I’m feeling at the moment. I’m burning. Burning with rage. I don’t know how to deal with these”–he waves his hand searching for the word–“feelings.” His tone is bitter.
[if you haven’t seen Clue, you need to. It’s on Netflix. Go, my children. Go now and experience the wonders.]
…I really fucking hope this isn’t all directed at Ana. But it probably is, or at least it’s 99% directed at Ana, because apparently whenever Christian feels any ounce of emotion he’s like “What is this feeling…it’s probably rage…I SHOULD BE MAD AT MY WIFE FOR NO REASON!”
Ana crawls into his lap and they start cuddling, and the anger is (sort of) over? Except not because Christian says he’s still mad at her. And then Ana says she’s mad at him too, but she doesn’t tell him what it’s about because he’s still too mad.
“I want to punish you,” he whispers. “Really beat the shit out of you,” he adds.
My heart leaps into my mouth. Fuck. “I know,” I whisper as my scalp prickles.
“Maybe I will.”
“I hope not.”
He hugs me tighter. “Ana, Ana, Ana. You’d try the patience of a saint.”
CAN WE ALL JUST TAKE A MOMENT AND APPRECIATE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT WE ALL JUST EXPERIENCED.
FUCKING CHRIST. I NEED AN ENTIRE FIFTH OF WHISKEY AFTER THAT. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
CHRISTIAN GREY…WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
EVERYONE PLEASE MEMORIZE WHAT JUST HAPPENED ABOVE. MEMORIZE IT, PRINT IT ON T-SHIRTS, SHOUT IT FROM MOUNTAINTOPS, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO, JUST REMEMBER THAT LITTLE EXCHANGE EVERY TIME SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT THIS BOOK DOESN’T GLORIFY ABUSE.
THIS BOOK PAINTS ABUSE AS JUST A NORMAL PART OF A BDSM RELATIONSHIP. AND IT’S NOT.
THIS BOOK MAKES ABUSE SEEM LIKE IT CAN BE DESERVED, AS IF ANA DESERVES TO BE PUNISHED FOR THESE MINOR TRANSGRESSIONS.
THIS BOOK ROMANTICIZES ABUSE, AND MAKES IT DESIRABLE, BECAUSE CHRISTIAN GREY IS A LITERAL GOD, AND WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BOW DOWN TO HIM AND WISH FOR MEN LIKE HIM TO COME AND LOVE US AND MARRY US, AND NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM OUT ON HIS SHIT.
THIS BOOK NORMALIZES ABUSE, AND MAKES IT SEEM LIKE JUST A ROUTINE PART OF SOME RELATIONSHIPS, AND I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THAT IN NO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WILL ONE PARTNER EVER TELL THE OTHER PARTNER THAT HE OR SHE WANTS TO “BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.”
THIS ENTIRE SITUATION MAKES NO SENSE, AND IF THIS IS HOW CHRISTIAN GREY REACTS TO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE EVER GOTTEN MARRIED, BECAUSE NO PERSON WHO MARRIES HIM IS SAFE WITH HIM.
BDSM IS A SAFE, CONSENSUAL PRACTICE. IT IS BASED UPON RULES THAT WERE ALREADY AGREED UPON, AND AT ANY POINT THE SUB (OR THE DOM) CAN CALL THE SCENE OFF IF IT GETS TOO INTENSE. CHRISTIAN’S RELATIONSHIP WITH ANA IS NOT SAFE, OR CONSENSUAL. THEY HAVE NOT AGREED UPON ANY CONCRETE RULES, THEY HAVE NOT DISCUSSED THEIR RULES IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT, CHRISTIAN HAS NEVER MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ANA TO ACTUALLY CONSENT TO THEIR ACTS BECAUSE SHE IS CONSTANTLY FUCKING TERRIFIED OF HIM.
THIS IS NOT BDSM. THIS ISN’T ROMANTIC. THIS ISN’T HEALTHY. THIS ISN’T SAFE.
(also literally wtf is that line about how she’d “try the patience of a saint.” What has she done to try his patience, other than go out with one of her friends? You’re not a saint, Christian. You’re a manipulative, abusive asshole. Stop trying to make what you said into a joke. It’s not a joke. Threatening to beat your significant other is abuse. End of story.)