So there’s a terrible movie that’s going to come out in 11 days, and I feel like I should say a little something about it before I get into blogging about Chapter 15.
50 Shades of Grey: The Movie is coming out on February 14th, and several people have asked me if I plan to see the movie. Initially, I thought I might see it, maybe wait until it comes to a cheap theater in a few weeks, see it with some friends, sneak in secret alcohol, laugh at the ludicrous nature of the whole thing.
But the more I think about it, the more this whole movie, this whole series, turns my stomach.
Because the bottom line is that these books and that movie do nothing but glorify a very abusive, manipulative, and downright dangerous relationship. And this is coming from someone who has read all 3 books (twice, now, since I read them once for my original tumblr posts and once for this blog), so you can’t tell me that I “don’t know what I’m talking about,” because I do.
Christian Grey is abusive. He stalks Ana, he punishes her for standing up to him, he controls basically every aspect of their sex life, and is an irresponsible and dangerous Dom. He puts Ana in situations where she feels she can’t say no (which means that most of their sexual acts are non-consensual), he controls where she can and can’t go, he consistently scares Ana with his unpredictable mood swings and behavior, he stalks her, he controls what information she has access to, he controls her job, he controls her friends and who she can and cannot see…I mean, god, he even controls what she’s allowed to wear half the time (she needs his permission to go out wearing a short skirt). He treats her as an object, and constantly refers to her as his property.
The worst part is that, since these books are written in Ana’s point of view, you have literally ZERO perspective on this abuse. She’s face-first in the water, talking about how cool and refreshing the water is, when the big-picture is that she’s drowning. Of course Christian is going to seem like the “ideal man” when you hear Ana talk about him, because she’s being manipulated into thinking that way (and she has literally no other experience with men to compare this to, aside from a few short relationships in her past as a teenager). As the reader, you’re forced to put yourself in Ana’s shoes, and thus you’re also being emotionally manipulated by Christian.
Christian constantly scares Ana and makes her too nervous to speak up or fight back, yet all the while Ana keeps saying how much she loves Christian, how beautiful he is, how broken he is, and god, it’s like Stockholm syndrome. At one point he’s being scary and wants to spank Ana (something she’s not very comfortable with), and she literally convinces herself it’s okay because she loves him and “this is for him“. The idea that you should just let someone do something to you because you love them and they “need it” is so fucking dangerous I can’t even begin to explain it. That’s literally textbook abuse.
I’m not going to get into more specific examples of how terrible this relationship is, because this entire blog is full of examples (literally pick a chapter out of a hat — you’ll find abuse there, I can almost guarantee it), and that would be a waste of time.
Suffice it to say that these books are nightmares, and this movie is an even bigger nightmare.
Do not go see this movie.
Do not give any more money to the people who are perpetuating this kind of horrifying abuse. Do not pay any money to these people, even if you’re only seeing the movie as a joke. If you want to watch it for a laugh, wait until it’s available online for free somewhere. But honestly, I doubt this movie is going to be funny. I think this movie is going to be horrifying. If you’re looking for a good laugh, don’t look here.
Domestic violence and abusive relationships are happening every day, all around us, to men and women alike. All these people are actually suffering, and stories like 50 Shades only encourage that.
Instead of seeing 50 Shades of Grey, donate the money you would have spent to an organization working to prevent domestic violence, or to a women’s shelter, or any kind of organization that is fighting to prevent the kind of behavior that is going to be on display in 50 Shades of Grey. If you have any suggestions for organizations that deserve donations, post a link in the comments and I will gladly add links to this post.
Abusive relationships are everywhere. Instead of romanticizing them, let’s put our money towards stopping them.